The TSA and Congress

Perhaps we should not be too surprised by the enthusiasm with which congress has embraced the procedures at the airport that passengers have to go through in order to fly on a plane. Congressman Barney Frank may have found his dream job or at least live vicariously through the TSA's current technology.

As a physician, I studied immunology, allergy, and autoimmune diseases. Generally speaking, each of these is an exaggerated response by the body to an outside stimulus. We have all heard stories about people going into anaphylactic shock following a bee sting or eating some food like peanuts or shrimp. In other words, an attack on our system by an allergen like bee venom, which though painful, is met by an overreaction by the body to this stimulus, and it the response that actually kills us. Perhaps this is a suitable metaphor for the way terrorism works. We are attacked by a bee sting or a fire ant and in response we muster all of our defenses and shut down our bodies far in excess of the injury. In terrorism, one act in a town like Portland by a 19 year old loner, and thwarted by the FBI, becomes national news. I fully expect that someone somewhere is crafting legislation to set up metal detectors and such at public gatherings. Sooner or later, the America we know will destroy itself in a governmental anaphylactic reaction and, in an attempt to save ourselves, we will actually destroy ourselves.

All this is happening incrementally. First in air travel but sooner or later, when someone puts a bomb on some other form of transportation, or in a commonly found and deeply American public place like a fast food establishment, we will expand this intrusion into our lives with the justification that it will somehow make us SAFE. And like the frog who is placed in a pot of cool water, and heated on the stove, we will accept each degree of heat because it is doled out incrementally, and we will remain in the pot until we are boiled to death. If we attempted to place that same frog into a pot of boiling water, he would have jumped out instantly. Imagine the outcry if all of these draconian travel rules were instituted overnight and we went from traveling freely without metal detectors, exposure to radiation, and intrusive genital frisking to what we have today....I think we would have rioted. But maybe I am wrong. The sheep always gather to the shepherd when the wolf howls. When you are willing to trade your freedom for safety you will have neither.

RED KEY...GREEN KEY

We have a home in Sarasota that is surrounded by tropical vegetation. The key to this house is labeled GREEN (for vegetation) on my key ring. Our condo in Miami is at the Ritz, and the key is RED. We have no personal responsibility for gardening in Miami, actually, Coconut Grove. Usually I reach for my green key automatically because we spend so much more time in Sarasota that even when we spend a weekend in Miami it's the green front door key that I reach for there. We just came back from about 10 days in Miami and after the first few days in our condo I automatically began using the red key. On our return to Sarasota, I now take my keys out of my pocket select the red one and wonder why the door won't open.

This Pavlovian response reminds me of our travels to foreign lands, particularly ones where I can speak the language, Spain for example. After about a week there, I no longer think in English and translate into Spanish. I think in Spanish and speak without translating. On our return to America, for the first few days I think in Spanish and have to translate anything I wish to say into English.

How many other times during our lives does this happen...that we condition ourselves to do things a certain way, or hold certain opinions and when our context or surroundings change or we are in a very different situation, we default to a response equivalent to our green key. And, we expect it will be the "key" that will open our door. I guess I am arguing against AUTO-PILOT in all things. Though convenient, conditioned responses and habits often do not serve us and narrow our world. Learning styles such as the "I already know the answer" which is so common are a prime example. Emotional responses to adverse or perceived adverse situations are another. What if we paused a moment, gave it some thought, and tailored our choices with each input we received, whether it is something another person says or some perceived adversity that has been thrown in our direction...maybe we would pick the correct key on the first try.

NEWER is BETTER?

During the evolution of man and machine everything gets better, right? The text message is far superior to actually talking to another person...Play Station 2 beats going outside and actually running on a field... and the New JEEP Wrangler is better than the Original Army JEEP. Maybe it is and maybe it isn't. It all depends on what the criteria for judging better are. If you want or your soul needs real interpersonal contact, to smell and see and feel another person (within the limits of the law) text messaging is a distant second place. During a blizzard, PS2 wins hands down. As for the rest of the time, that's where childhood obesity comes from. Which brings me to the vehicles in the pictures. Sure, the modern one has ABS brakes, radial tires, and a 200 watt stereo system if that's what you are looking for. The vintage vehicle has patina and heritage and simplicity. The 2011 model weighs as much as a Mercedes Benz large sedan (S-class) and has 1/2 the horsepower.

For my money, I rather sit down for a cup of coffee with a friend instead of reading a text, play outside rather than in the PS2 virtual world, and does anyone know here I can get a 50 year old JEEP?

YUNG at HEART

“Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.” - Carl Gustav Jung

LOGICAL SONG

The group Supertramp recorded a song many years ago called "The Logical Song" about how we lose our childhood enthusiasm for life as we are enculturated and taught to be logical, dependable. Is there an age at which we can discard this "logic" rationality and reasonableness? Clearly, it is impossible for most of us to NOT succumb to the requirements of society that we be reliable and not be a radical. But after we have raised our kids in the same way and we no longer have to go to an office somewhere in a tie and jacket...what keeps us in character? It is not the real us. It is the face we don to fit in and be part of the herd or flock or gaggle...whatever.

The stereotypes of the old guy with a pony tail with a red sports car and in some instances, present company excluded, the "niece" at his side, are rampant. One speaks pejoratively about the geezer's choices and attempts to recapture his youth as if that is a bad thing. It's like the blue claw crabs in the basket who pull back their co-captives as they climb up the walls in an attempt to escape. I have been experiencing this phenomenon as I contemplate doing yet another stupid thing... buying a JEEP Wrangler and driving it topless (the car not me) around Sarasota. My friends or fellow crabs as the case may be have reminded me of the folly of an open vehicle as in "You'll never drive with the top down, I know you, the heat, the bugs, the redneck in the big truck next to you" and then the safety... "they roll over, they are made in Toledo by pot heads, and Chrysler now belongs to Fiat and so on."

Logic..reasonableness...common sense. Where would we be without it? But... in the words of Wayne Dyer (you gotta know who he is) "What is true in the morning of your life shall by the evening have become a lie." I think he means that though we have to go along to get along in school in work and in society, there comes a time when your life becomes your own and you can ditch the uniform, et al, and let the person you covered up expose himself (not literally). I don't know the exact age when this should happen, perhaps it is much earlier in life, but I know for sure that the time for me is nigh.

JUST SAY...WHOA

I counted calories today as a sort of an experiment. Unfortunately I counted them AFTER I ate them. My retrospective scientific study proved to me as a physician that obesity does not come from meals. I believe that if your dinner is a stick of southern fried butter and that's all you eat... you will lose weight. The devil lives in, among other places, the bread basket in the middle of the table that they bring you when they bring the menus in restaurants or mom puts there filled with biscuits as a sign of her love. To show her that you love her back, you eat them and say "mmmm'. Other lurking places include, the peanuts and salted and fried rice chex bowls at the bar which one eats mindlessly while sipping the first cocktail. And then there's the second cocktail and or beer and the third. Now, I can't speak for you on this but for me, the first glass of wine or other alcohol is the magic one. It tastes great and creates a gentle buzz. After that it becomes drinking out of habit and perhaps thirst. Better to switch to water. Also I enjoy myself less with each drink as I struggle to form words and thoughts.

At the risk of digressing I believe that this insensitive fattening happens in areas of our lives unrelated to food. Take a car purchase, one of my favorites. A $30,000 car can turn into a $50,000 car by adding the automotive equivalent of useless and mindless calories. They are disguised as things you add from the options list that you will almost never use and certainly do not need. These things include the sun roof, the navigation system, the extra 10 speaker stereo, bigger tires and wheels, premium package with auto dimming lights and the ability to connect your big screen TV and iPhone at the same time to your car dashboard. You get the picture. Now some of these are like dessert. Get one that you really want and enjoy it and not the ones the salesman says you have to have because it affects resale. If you are leasing your car...the only thing accessories affect is how much more you pay every month.

A couple of dinner rolls, an extra cocktail of two, and the F'ing peanuts at the bar and you have gorged yourself on hundreds of calories you wouldn't miss. Scientifically speaking, a pound of body weight goes on every time you eat 3,500 calories more than you need to sustain yourself. Let's just assume that this 500 calories you mindlessly ate happens every day... and it does in some form or other... the cookie at the bank... the chips out of the bag as you walk through the kitchen, the 250 calorie real Coke... and you multiply that times 7 days. That means you will gain a POUND a WEEK or 50 pounds a YEAR. It' s like that insensitive fluid loss that happens in dry climates only instead of getting dehydrated you get fat. Lets call it insensitive fatness.

Now if it means a lot to go out for an ice cream and you get the one scoop Rocky Road. That does not count in this new dietary consciousness that I am proposing. The second scoop, the reeses pieces, the extra large cone... they count. Savor the single scoop, skip the supersize portion, and when you have tasted it enough and enjoyed it... throw the uneaten part away rather than just swallowing it. At the end of the day, you will have had good meals, a drink, a dessert, and NOT MINDLESSLY consumed an extra 500 to 1000 calories on filler.

Look before you leap in your purchases, your choices, and above all your food intake. When that waiter brings the bread basket tell him to take it away before it has a chance to attach itself to your ass. Decline the fresh hot Otis Spunkmeyer chocolate chip cookie (or two) at the bank ( the modern day equivalent of the toaster.) Don't have open bags of chips anywhere in your reach. Move the bowl of peanuts down the bar far enough that you would have to get off your barstool to get them. And at home, once everyone is served, put the rest of the meal in Tupperware and put it in the fridge. It's the REAL way to show them that you love them. When the barista at Starbucks tells you that you can get the Venti size Caramel latte Frapucino for only 20 cents more... just say Whoa. It's an easy word to remember. It's the same one other people would use when you pass them and they turn around to look at you from behind. Do you want that to be a GOOD whoa, or a bad one?

SAVE BIG MONEY, USE MY SYSTEM

In a couple of words, I call it Calendar (or time) Shifting. This is especially useful if you have children that are too small to know anything about time or just about anything else except for maybe Dora the Explorer. We all know that Black Friday or Boxing Day is the best time to shop to get bargains and the worst time is when merchants know they have you by the short hairs on Christmas Eve. Why pay twice as much for anything just to give gifts on an arbitrary date? Did you know that Jesus was NOT born on December 25th but that this date was selected (ripped off) from the Pagans who celebrated the Winter Solstice also known as Saturnalia? So would it make any difference if you exchanged gifts and bought decorations AFTER Christmas? Think of the money saved. Christmas cards and lights 50% off ! Free trees... just haul it away. All kinds of after-Christmas sales.

This works for many holidays. Halloween comes to mind. I would not try this with the Super Bowl and the whacked-out prices they charge for big screen TVs prior to the game. Even if you recorded the game on your Comcast DVR and bought and hooked up your 60" Plasma the following day, someone would spill the beans and tell you the final score and spoil it. So, unless you live in a cave in Afghanistan, you have to pay full price for this one.

There are others and I am sure that if you use your imagination you will save thousands. It's easy... and you can save more than money, your sanity can also be preserved. NEVER go to Disney World the last week before school starts. Go a couple of weeks after it starts and pull your kids out of class. They're not learning anything anyway packed 40 to a classroom with a non-performing teacher who is still using lesson plans from the days of the Carter administration. Sure, Miss Frumple will be pissed for a while but really, is your kid's GPA in 4th grade really going to follow him or her to Harvard?

There are many other examples... the Academy Awards springs to mind. Why stay up all night to listen to overpaid cry-baby politically astute starlets tearily blame the Bush administration for the Famine in Darfur (ask them where that is, exactly) or listen to the litany of "I would like to thank our producer Mr. Shapiro, without his brilliance I would not be here tonight accepting this award on behalf of all the animals and plants of the world who....." So... Time/calendar shift... Record the whole thing... get up the next morning, make yourself a big cup of coffee.. pick up the remote and fast forward through everything that sucks (80%). Watch the cleavage parade on the Red Carpet (my favorite), skip the technical awards for best lighting in an animated documentary, and get to the Best Picture, Best Actor and Actress (ever notice that male and female actors want to be called actors until the time of the Oscars then it's OK to have two categories?) and of course my favorite category, Best drunken acceptance speech given by an airhead who thinks she is Albert Schweitzer.

Shift we can believe in. Thanksgiving is just around the corner.

FINALLY, I CAN GO FOR A WALK

When I was a resident of Nantucket over the summer, there was only one week in 4 months when it was too hot to take a walk or a bike ride. Since returning to Sarasota this is the first day when I don't have to start and I.V. drip with Dextrose 5% in Ringer's Lactate in order to even walk to the mailbox. Dehydration? You betcha. Well I have no excuse but to get off my ever widening ass and go outside for a brisk walk. Not beach weather for swimming but it would be nice to put on a sweatshirt and walk a few miles. So in keeping with that ...see ya tomorrow.

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN

PRESIDENT O has appeared on TV repeatedly since the election and apologized for not having explained the urgency and emergency status of all the wonderful things he created during the first half of his reign. I am personally grateful that he saved me from something, I don't know what...I am sure it was not a healthcare deficiency. As long as the passage of the huge healthcare law that nobody read was an emergency I guess I am sorry I voted straight Republican. Too bad I can't press rewind and go back in time and move to Cal-e-for-nee-yah to vote for Jerry Brown and Nancy Pelosi. Where's Michael J. Fox when you need him. Back to the future just ain't gonna happen.

Anyway, since the Democrats lost so miserably demonstrating that the people of America were either stupid, racist, or couldn't understand the president when he adopted his fake Brother Love's Travelin' Salvation Show dialect and banter, we might as well accept that Carte Blanche will no longer be given to him since the House of Representatives is now under control of Old White People who had jobs and contributed to America in some way and a couple of historically significant conservative black congresspersons (referred to by Democrats as Uncle Tom and Aunt Jemima). Well so much for "goin' along to get along" in DC. We will just have to have some Bi-partisanship now that the Dems are upset over not having a 100% majority and NOW they want to tell the Republicans to compromise. To put it in the most Kumbaya way possible...F that.

Well, the Prez is outta da country for a bit with 3000 of his homeys in India presumably wooing their hearts and minds to buy our stuff. I guess he will be spewing his line of S that he used to get elected in 2008 rather than the one he used to promote the election of the 65 Democrat congresspersons who lost this year in 2010. If it is that latter, it would have been better if he'd stayed home. If the former... we'll get their business for about a year or so until they too discover he is an empty suit with empty promises and they trade with China.