THE POLYANNA POST

NANTUCKET is a place where there is a lot going on. The social calendar is very full. Like any town where there is society, folks like to attend and then see photographs of themselves in the back of a magazine or online. You know the photos I am talking about...anything but candid, one or two couples standing looking at the camera...smiling...and holding a glass of Chardonnay.

If you spend a lot of time on Nantucket and like to attend any and everything social, you should consider checking our "Mahon About Town." It is an online newsletter that covers every event on island, dispassionately, and has the photos to prove it. The man behind the camera is ubiquitous. The extent of coverage is amazing. What I find is missing, and this is why he gets invited to everything while the Oracle has to buy a ticket, is any critique of the event. You will not read that the "fresh" shrimp were still frozen inside and crunched when you bit them. You will not read that Mrs. Gotrocks was, to put it in nautical terms "three sheet to the wind" and was "cougaring" the 25 year old bartender, Raul. Nowhere will you see anything about the charity that the event is purported to help never getting dime because all the money was spent on Chardonnay and Shrimp (note the alliteration despite the two words beginning with different letters) Mahon's theme song should be Home Home on the Range. (Where never is heard, a discouraging word, and the skies are not cloudy all day.) Nothing seems out of place, even Mrs. Gotrocks hair.

You will NOT get that from the Islandoracle. First of all, I know what it is like to buy a ticket and decide if I got my money's worth. Like at the Comedy Festival where a certain comedian might not have induced any significant laughter because the format was boring. You might know if you read the oracle that when the event comes next year, elect to spend the 300 dollars at a Nantucket gas station filling up your SUV or at a local restaurant for dinner for two. If a whale breaches and swallows a tourist I will show you that picture, not the one of him (the tourist not the whale) sipping Chardonnay on the lawn at the Great Harbor Yacht Club an hour before. Booooorrrrrring. Fleas and lice, potholes and wrinkles in the fabric of the island, that's what you will find here. Dreamland will be mostly amazing and a fantastic addition to the year round resident. Parking will SUCK for the rest of eternity. Park now becasue there will be no spaces in June. Prescriptions drug prices are outasight in our local pharmacies unless you are a Massachusetts resident on Romneycare. The pothole at the corner of Fair and Main is not quaint and rustic. It can swallow a Mini Cooper. $20 is too much to pay for a hamburger and it can be done in many eating establishments on island.

To quote Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men..."You want the truth? You can't handle the truth." However, if you can, check out Islandoracle.blogspot.com. You want to see yourself in nantucket red pants and a blazer standing next to Mrs. Gotrocks and her "perfect" hair at the Whaling Museum...click on Mahon.