YOU MAY BE RIGHT, I MAY BE CRAZY

These lyrics from Billy Joel may well sum up the Oracle's reality testing or lack thereof. There was a time when I would buy a new car every six months (new to me not necessarily off the showroom floor) and had as many as 5 at a time. While I am no Jay Leno and most of them would be worth nothing on the collector market had I kept them, I had fun, most of the time. I can remember a few that I bought and got buyers remorse driving off the lot, but then there were some that I fondly remember. Not for the usual reasons of right of passage... the first speeding ticket, or the first real back-seat romance with Betsy Wilson, but because they were the external answer to an internal dream. Speed and agility sometimes, off road prowess another, or maybe Luxury and Bling.

At this point in my life, I crave simplicity. These 4 months in Nantucket have reinforced my belief that you don't have to be constantly entertained or surrounded by opulence to be happy. Sure, just being able to take off for 4 months is a luxury but beyond that, I have not walked as many miles in the past decade nor enjoyed it as much. Not becoming dehydrated on the way to the mailbox as I would have in Sarasota may have something to do with it but all the same I would not have walked an hour round trip for a sandwich back in Florida, as I did yesterday, even if there were a sandwich shop as good as Something Natural. I wrote about that place many times. Walking there is actually a sound idea because the parking is horrendous. The last time I was there in my car, I was one of 5 cars backing out simultaneously into the center of a circular parking lot. Think Mexican Standoff. It's way better now that the tourists have gone home. But I digress.

I have downloaded several pictures of the Jeep Wrangler 2-door from the internet and I photograph them on the road...and they are everywhere on Nantucket. It is like a white Toyota Camry would be in a parking lot in Sarasota. Despite the lack of individuality, it emotionally brings me back to those school yard days when all the kids would arrive on Raleigh English racer bikes with 3 speed Sturmey-Archer gears and wire saddle baskets filled with books. We would meet at the bike rack as we locked our bikes with a chain and the same model Master combination lock in chrome with a black face. 7 to the right, 23 left, 14 right...open. It's that kind of elemental simplicity. It is the antithesis of standing in front of the Casino in Monte Carlo, which I have done more than once, and watching the valets park one-of-a-kind exotic cars that cost an average of over $250, 000 and run into the millions.

So while the Kitty will continue to roll in style in a Mercedes-Benz, the next time you see the Oracle in Sarasota, he will probably be driving something like a Jeep Wrangler or a Mini Cooper...the ubiquitous Island cars here in Nantucket. You will be able to know it's mine as there will NOT be a surfboard on the top.

DUCK DUCK

They sure have a lot of ducks up here in Nantucket. They are everywhere. Throw some cheese doodles in the water and before you can say "Duck" they are there. There are places on the island where these critters gather by the hundreds. One prime location is on Fairgrounds Road where they get duck welfare in the form of daily feedings from some guy whose neighbors I am sure have a contract out on him. Another is where Washington and Union come together, on the waterfront side.

Back in Sarasota we have ducks every season that sit by our pool. Several years ago, a pair of ducks (not a paradox) landed in the pool and we heard this commotion. Apparently when ducks mate, they are rather vocal. Within a few weeks we noticed 10 little fuzzy ducklings swimming in the pool...peeping. Momma duck ran around the perimeter of the pool...quacking. The pool level was normal but the edge of the pool was still too high for the ducklings to jump out. Clearly they would be in trouble if left in this condition as they become waterlogged and fatigued. What to do? I built an inclined ramp out of wood and a carpet for them to walk up and escape.

Ducks are apparently territorial and they return to their place of birth, our pool, their pond. Since they eat a lot of dirt along with their food, the bottom of the pool got very dirty very quickly. The pool man would come on Tuesday and the pool would be dirty by Wednesday. I called animal control for help thinking that government would be there for us. Not happening They weren't interested. So I called Animal Rescue...ditto. The Humane Society...they hung up. Finally in desperation I called the ASPCA, lover of all animals, for advice. They recommended that I call a man who owns a Vietnamese Restaurant and a Mullet net and he would come over and solve my problem. Before I could call, the ducks were grown and flew away.

Every spring an adult pair sits by the poolside apparently reliving fond memories of when their family was born and bred at this pond. They must be too old to have more ducklings because after a couple of seasons the duckling problem has disappeared. Or maybe they just found a nicer "Infinity" pond in a swankier neighborhood or they summer in Nantucket.

YOU DIRTY RAT

Part of Hollywood apocrypha is that either James Cagney or George Raft, two old time movie stars ever said "You dirty rat." There is one thing that is certain... there are "Rats" in Nantucket and they are proud of it. After a summer of being their guest at the Wharf Rat Club on the Old North Wharf, I can attest that they are everything that was described in the Boston Globe and National Geographic... a rag tag group of interesting men and women who refer to one another as "Rats." They gather each morning at their clubhouse (the right side of the photo) and tell tall tales and discuss every subject under the sun. The Kitty and I will be leaving Nantucket in a couple of weeks. It has been a great summer marred only by a personal loss back home of a dear friend and a few rainy days. As great as this place is, with grand babies and friends, sandwiches at Something Natural, and near perfect weather for walking and bicycling, it was my time at the Wharf Rat Club that put the icing on the cake. Thanks to everyone on deck. I hope to see you again next year.

BIRTHDAY GRAND FINALE

It should have come as no surprise that the Birthday Dinner at the Westmoor Club that my son-in-law and daughter planned to the most minute detail ended with the culinary equivalent of a FIREWORKS display. The food, and wine, not to mention the beautiful women from Sarasota who attended, were exquisite. The staff was very attentive and the table was artfully set right down to the personally printed "Happy Birthday Shirley (Kitty)" menus.

The coup-de-grace was, however, the birthday cake which was not a cake at all but rather this assortment of the most decadent desserts ever put on one tray. Yes, they tasted as good as they looked. It was a very special evening for The Kitty, in fact the whole day was amazing. the weather here in Nantucket cooperated by being sunny clear and in the 70s. There were gifts of all sorts, and shopping, lunch with 5 special cookies baked by the grand-babies that spelled K-I-T-T-Y, and of course this dinner with "the Posse" from Sarasota in attendance at the Westmoor club. Thank you everyone for being a part of the Kitty's 39th birthday bash, and a special thanks to Mark for this banquet.

The JOISEY SHORE

Several years ago there was a movie. IDIOCRACY, about a future in which people were so stupid that two ordinary citizens who time traveled from the present day were the smartest people on Earth in that future civilization. The movie touched on several reasons for this evolution to ignorance. I have some well justified fears that we are in the process of fulfilling this prophesy. Case in point, Snookie, one of the three girls in the photo to the right. We have the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, Deal of No Deal which would be better named brain or no brain, and a host of other prime time entertainment. Half our population, which probably corresponds to the half that pay no taxes, spends countless hours in front of the well named "Idiot Box" being educated in the ways of the Jersey Shore or the Housewives of.....wherever.

Not that everybody should only watch the History channel, or PBS, there are some really thoughtful and entertaining shows on every night but they are becoming fewer and fewer. Everytime a "24" goes off the air, it is replaced by "Idiots on Parade." It is part of the degradation of society in general and either is a follower of our dumbed down nation (thank you to the American educational system) or a leader (thank you Hollywood) and is gathering speed like a snowball rolling down a steep hill. Do yourself a favor and drive by a local middle or high school and look at the student body as they gather on the sidewalk. You will ask yourself..."How can Snookie be so many places at the same time?" Maybe, she is a Kardashian.

TELL IT LIKE I SEE IT

When I was young, I used to give my opinion about everything as if it were the only opinion that mattered. With maturity I learned to listen more and understand that the opinions of others have value and one can learn from every encounter. I was wrong. Some people's opinions are just crap. Case in point...anything you hear on MSNBC. Every single one of their signature cable shows, Rachel Maddow, and Keith Olberman for example, are sophomoric attempts at cleverness and faux analysis but are in essence vitriolic BS aimed at destroying the Real America that made it possible for idiots like these to have a TV show at all. I have nothing against Lesbians, just pompous stupid ones. Same goes for The Ed show, and that evolving RINO (Republican in name only) Joe Scarboro and his far-lefty sidekick, Mika.

If you have a job, want a job, or believe that a job is a good thing, you should never turn on MSNBC. Their entire agenda is that America is made up of hyphenated-people of different races, creeds, and national origins, who are all better than white people born in America. Every one of us should do penance in the form of higher taxes and government programs to support people whose ancestors 200 years ago were treated badly. Their creed is to alter our society, language, and customs to conform to any and every oddball that lands on our shores, rather than expecting them to conform to ours. Footbaths for New York taxi drivers? Are you F'ing kidding me? Teaching school and voting in Spanish? Free everything for folks who sneak over our borders? Drop a kid out of your illegal alien womb in a hospital in Texas and he or she becomes an immediate American? Are we serious? Punish Arizona for trying to protect itself because the Obama administration won't do that job?

If you think that we owe every mutt on the planet a free ride and that working is for suckers, then MSNBC is the only station you should watch. I would be willing to bet, that these hemi-commies give a meager share of their huge incomes to help the real needy, like that phony Joe Biden whose charitable contributions for the year prior to his election were under $1000. My landscaper gives more than that.

VOTE for the lesser of two evils... the Republican Party. They may be imperfect but is not their wet-dream to take away all your hard earned money and redistribute it to the Democrat voter base...illegals, multigenerational welfare recipients, and labor unions. WAKE UP, AMERICA.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KITTY

TODAY IS THE KITTY'S BIRTHDAY. She is 39 again. People ask me how I met this feline. It was in 1963 in Jamaica, West Indies, and I was on vacation there, at a hotel on the North Coast. Being the "filled to the brim with testosterone" guy I was in those days, I had my eye peeled and followed my pointer toward feminine pulchritude. There she was, with her two cousins. A vision of exotic beauty. I was immediately smitten, and I knew "this was the one." For you guys out there it was a teenager going to a car lot and among all the gray sedans, there sat a red corvette convertible, its engine rumbling, with shiny chrome, and real leather upholstery. Suffice it to say, in those days, test drives were not commonplace in courtships as they might have been in buying a car. You basically had to go on the paint and the sound of the radio. Anyway, the prospects of traveling down the road of life with this beauty was too awesome to resist. We spent some days together and then had to part company as I went back to the USA and had to leave my "Island Girl" behind.

The rest of the story is kind of interesting but I will save it for another day. Anyway it was 47 years ago (wait, the math doesn't add up) that I spent some time in the summer on an island with the woman who would one day become "The Kitty" my wife. Here I am with her on another island almost half a century later and it still feels like the first time I laid eyes on her on the North Coast of Jamaica. Amazing.