SUNRISE in SARASOTA

We left Nantucket yesterday afternoon. It was a busy morning packing up a few things that did not get into the SUV when it was driven south 2 days ago. And then there's the stuff my daughter, her husband, and the babies brought back. Caesar brought less with him when he crossed the Rubicon.

We said goodbye to Nantucket and in 3 hours we landed in Sarasota. I woke up at 5:30 a.m. which is my custom and I watched the sun come up out of our east window in the family room. I made coffee and it smelled good. Unfortunately it didn't taste so good so I had a diet coke instead. I don't know if it was the Hazelnut creamer that has been in freezer for 4 months, or the coffee kept in the refrigerator, or the coffee maker (which I cleaned twice) or the water. Whatever it was...it was not as good as the one I had yesterday in Nantucket just before I packed up the Cuisinart.

Anyway, I wont take this as a metaphor for our return. Sarasota looked better than I expected it to be, including the North Trail which we had to pass on the way home. It looks like we lost 2 coconut palm trees since we have been away. They turned brown after this past winter's freeze and never came back The others ones look good and are sprouting nice green fronds. Minor problems will crop up over the next few days but it is good to be back on our other island, Siesta Key. NOW WHERE IS THAT TO-DO LIST?

I'LL BE BACK

For those of my readers who live in Nantucket, this is a palm tree, on a white sand beach in Sarasota, Florida. Later today we will be leaving beautiful but getting colder and rainier Nantucket and heading into the 90 degree days of the Sunshine State. We avoided the fry-an-egg-on-the-sidewalk heat of the Florida summer but now it is time to catch the tail end of the heat and to revel in the mostly wonderful weather of fall and winter (discounting a hurricane that may sneak up on us and blow our house out to sea.)

Several folks extracted a promise from me that I would continue to write this blog on my return to Siesta Key, our island in Sarasota. They asked to remain anonymous. There are many adventures to be had in Florida. And I will muse on several of them in the coming week. Our first adventure will be "the automobile shuffle." The SUV we enjoyed all summer up in Nantucket will arrive home on Tuesday Morning, loaded to the headliner with all manner of impedimentum..mostly clothes-de-Kitty and my two pairs of jeans and 4 t-shirts. There are books, and electronic gizmos, and lots of shoes. We left our kitchen utensils and bed linens in Nantucket for next year. YES, there will be a next year "God willin' and the creek don't rise."

The Kitty's car was leased and the lease is over shortly after our return to Florida. Our other vehicle is a 1998 Mercedes ML320 with about 200,000 miles on her. When I drove this SUV the last time back a couple of months ago, it seemed to be trying to catch on fire or at least the front brakes were smoking. Sounds like a case for Goodwill. So there you have it, two people, one car. This formula was great in Nantucket where I rode my bike or walked everywhere. Back in Sarasota, riding a bike is the transportation equivalent of Russian Roulette, and walking very far will have to wait until November due to the heat. So I guess I will have to get another set of wheels. I blogged about the Jeep Wrangler, and the Mini Cooper and my "sort system" (the WHY of my eventual choice.) Life is too short to make all practical choices. One of my friends drives and Aston-Martin, another a Porsche Panamera, and a third has a garage filled with all manner of exotic cars. I can't even think about getting into that arms-race. Being the ICONOCLAST that I am, my choices are either "the most impractical WTF vehicle I can find" or a nondescript "beater."

We don't have a MINI dealer in Sarasota but the JEEP guys are about a 10 minute drive away. If I can talk them into giving me more than a dollar trade in value on my old ML..I can buy one of their fine products. This week, on the news, mostly FOX, there were videos showing workers at the JEEP factory, where they make their flagship Grand Cherokee, smoking dope and getting hammered on beer while on their lunch hour. This is a bit off-putting when thinking about buying a JEEP that costs as much as a Mercedes or BMW SUV. Fortunately they also sell the Wrangler which when purchased without any bells and whistles is reasonably priced. NO, I (probably) will not remove the doors and the roof and put a surfboard on the roll bars. But don't hold me to this. Beauty is skin deep but quirkiness runs deep to the bone.

Anyway, if I roll up to the mall or your house in a piece of vintage Detroit Iron, or a WWII JEEP, don't think I went off the deep end from being in Nantucket. I did that long ago.

We don't gotta cho you no steenkin bodges

Thanks to Obama's tightened security at the border, another group of Mexicans are denied entry in the USA. This could be the turning point in the war against illegal immigration. And all this time we thought his bark was worse than his bite. I don't know about you but personally I am glad that congress passed the Taco Bill.

ECONOMIC TEAM

I was listening to Morning Joe and heard that Larry Summers is quitting the OBAMA economic team (not the first). You remember him as the former president of Harvard who was booted out of his job for political incorrectness. I was wondering what these guys are going to do when they fill out their Curriculum Vitae in preparation for their next job. I figure Summers is going to put down 2009-2010 Sabbatical. If you were part of an economic TEAM whose success could be compared to the losing team in a SuperBowl whose final score was 56 to ZIP, what would you put in YOUR C.V.? I think "I was in a COMA" would be better than admitting "I was in charge of the Stimulus package and improving employment in America."

Rahm "Rambo" Emanuel, the Chief of Staff at the White House who was practically invisible for the past 2 years has his beady little eyes set on becoming the Mayor of Chicago. When I think of honesty in government, "Chicago" immediately pops into my head. Any one named Daley, for example. Maybe our next presidential administration can come entirely from another city, say, the one that Tony Soprano came from in New Jersey. It has to be more honest...Bada-Bing.

TEST DRIVE

Drivin' this JEEP all day today. The cobble stones of Main street are only one of the rough terrain opportunities on the island. There are places where you can drive on the beach, many roads that are unpaved, and parking spots that are only accessible if you go over a tall curb. As I have written before, this is the single most common vehicle on Nantucket, for a reason. Most of them are convertible, and if there were ever convertible weather, this is it. 60s and 70s are the norm. I will report to you after today if my neck is not too sore to sit in front of my computer. I may get one when I get back to Sarasota, so that I can keep in touch with my inner island-ness. It also could be the dumbest thing ever, and I'll abandon the idea. Today's the day.

ADIOS, Nantucket

Nantucket will be left behind in a few days as we return to the balmy 90 degree weather of Florida. This is a photo of a crowded Nantucket beach I took this week. When we return to Siesta Key, our other island, I will go to the beach every day. It is a 20 minute walk from my house. If I can do it here, I can do it there. I just have to remember to drink lots of water.

By the time we get back to Sarasota, most of our friends will have returned from their European trips and North Carolina homes. I will trade my lostah roll lunch for a nice Chicken Parm sandwich at Demetrio's. I just love living on islands.

I CHANGED MY MIND

I WAS GOING TO WRITE SOMETHING SPIRITUAL or ZEN-like this morning. We had a good day yesterday and a great meal last night, God's in his heaven all's right with the world, etc. But then someone sent me this in an email which I opened just before 6 a.m.

For those of you who don't follow politics, this is a cartoon of Nancy Pelosi, aka Queen Nancy, aka the Shrieker of the House. Caricaturists draw their subjects by exaggerating their most prominent features, making the head much larger in proportion to the body and accentuating the facial expression. For example, a caricature of Pam Anderson would have, as impossible as this sounds to achieve, Boobs that are out of proportion to the rest of her. Angeline Jolie's bee-stung lips would be even more amplified. Queen Nancy is the victim of serial-plastic surgery and her face is tighter than a pair of jeans on a Latina female in Miami. She's been lifted so many times she has to have a regular Bikini Wax on her chin. Take a good look as it is possible that after the elections in November she will become the minority leader, or be replaced by another Democrat as the Speaker and she will go back to the Bat-cave and just hang around.

LINK OF THE DAY

http://www.jihadwatch.org/2010/06/pat-condell-on-ground-zero-mosque-is-it-possible-to-be-astonished-but-not-surprised.html

STICKER SHOCK

New Englanders are no stranger to self expression. Some Blog, some just put a load of stickers on the backs of their JEEPS. This is a NOT-uncommon sight on Nantucket. Most of the cars that are adorned like this are expressing sentiments against: War, Progress, Bush (the former president not an anatomical or horticultural reference) or throwing anything away without recycling it. I sure hope these stickers are biodegradable.

Stickers are as popular here as they are in grade school only they are not put on your body or in a scrapbook, they go on your car. The greatest sign of coolness is a 10 year old car with ten years of Beach and Oversand permits on the bumper, NEVER removing last year's, just adding this year's until the various colored stickers run from one side of your car to the other. Couple that with a Vanity license plate that incorporate the letters ACK and you are in line for sainthood. Seriously, I am only reporting about this and not condemning it as I have my share of stickers on the bumper of my SUV. Since my car is a 2010,only a poseur put more than this year's Official annual permit stickers on it. Other stickers like the Vineyard Vines pink whale are not dated so I put a bunch of them on. I may get a vanity plate that has ACK in it before returning here for next season. It is, however, like trying to pick a domain name for a website or an email address. Most of the good ones are taken, so you wind up with Phil243 or something similar. I previously posted on this blog several of the better ones along with the Quarterboards from the multimillion dollar homes which were NOT limited to 7 letters and numbers as a license plate would be. My plate would be a Florida plate so the options are somewhat improved. If you see me driving in Sarasota in the spring with a license plate that says something like A-C-K-2, you will know I am spending next summer on Nantucket. Seeing me wearing my Nantucket red slacks, with a Madras jacket and a whale belt at the club might be another hint.

CONSERVATIVE WOMEN

There was an email going around that had pictures of the women of the Republican party, Ann Coulter, Bo Derek, Janine Turner, and the Democrat party, Nancy Pelosi, Janine Garofalo, Rosie O'donnell. To which I say.. you can't help how you look except for Nancy Pelosi who should not be surprised that after 14 face lifts she looks like she is permanently in a wind-tunnel or doing 200 mph on a rocket-sled. And it's not fair to be critical of the way folks look except if it is a choice like Rosie's flannel lumberjack/workboot chic. Then you gotta say "What's up with that?" Like we don't know you bat for the other team? So does Portia DeRossi and she makes every man in America want to say "do you mind if I at least watch?"

So it's not about your "looks" or lack thereof, it's about your ineptitude at what you do. I dream of the day when after the massive Democrat loss in the upcoming election Nancy goes back to her Crypt and we don't have to see her "deer in the headlights" face on TV for a while. We'll still have Hillary Rodham for another couple of years until she decides to run in the primary against Barack in 2012. Then we will see her on TV more than reruns of Law and Order. The press loves a good liberal woman. Her loving husband at her side she may be our next president. Well anyway, she's not that bad to look at, at least from the front.

The QUEEN'S English vs YOGI BERRA'S English

I have lived in many areas of this country. I spent the first 25 years of my life in New York, the last 35 in Florida, and most recently, the last 4 months in Nantucket. There has been a heated discussion lately about the "Official Language" of America and how it should be English. I am here to tell it it never has been ENGLISH even before the great Reconquista (retaking of the southwest) by 12 million Mexicans, or the capture of Florida by the entire population of Cuba.

There are major regional differences in pronunciations and choice of words. Up here in New England, a Pizza is Peetzer, a car is a cah, and the rule seems to be "if it ends in an A pronounce it as R and if ends in an R pronounce it as an A." But that is just the beginning. New York is pronounced New YAWK by New Yorkers. (New Yorkahs for people from the Cape.) Brooklyn is pronounced BWooklyn , a dog is a dawg, and so on. These are just regional differences in pronunciation and are not actually grammatically incorrect.

Sometimes a whole nation can pronounce a word awfully wrong. Case in point "BRETT FAVRE" a 20 year veteran of NFL football. Everyone in America, including Brett himself, pronounces his name wrong. (FARV). There is NO language on the planet in which when the V precedes the R, it is pronounced as if the R precedes the V. Besides, Brett is of French and Choctaw ancestry and his name in French is pronounced without any silent letters. Fahv Ruh. 150,000,000 men in America get this wrong.

When I lived in Texas near where the Juarez gangs are now at War with the Federales (We doan gotta cho you no steenkin bodges) there are several regional ingrained errors of language. There is a town in nearby New Mexico called Ruidoso, which means "noisy" in spanish. Because every man woman and child in Texas is familiar with the word "RIO" because that's what their housekeeper crossed to get to work, the town was called RIO-DOSA.

Even our small little hamlet of Sarasota has some oddities. Everyone knows you are an out-of-towner if you pronounce the street name Bahia Vista 'BA-HE-AH" instead of BAY-YA Vista. Just like Houston Street in New Yawk is pronounced HOW-STON and in Texas it is YOU-STON. I wonder what Sam HOWSTON would think of that.

Finally, let's talk about the Queen and her language. Color is Colour, Harbor is Harbour, and Center is Centre. But that is just the beginning. The trunk of your cah is the BOOT, and the hood, is the BONNET. Aluminum is AluMINIum. Chicks (young women) are birds and on and on... there are thousands of differences. Don't be a wanker.

So, enough for now, I am going to go out now for a Peetzer and a Beah in my cah, and come home and watch something on the Telly, or the tube, or TV. Maybe Yogi is on. There is a lot more to say on the subject of language and "It ain't over 'til it's over." See you (youze) tomorrow.

DO YOU KNOW WHICH WAY YOU ARE GOING?

Life does not come with a magnetic compass but we do have a moral compass. It tells us when something "ain't right" like the direction of our country. I can't speak for you but for my money, CLASS WARFARE, that originates at the highest level of government for political gain is the lowest moral denominator. Playing the RACE CARD when it is not warranted runs a close second. EUROPE ENVY and desiring our great country to become medically, socially, and spiritually like those third world countries in Europe that masquerade as "on a par" with the US, is number 3. Our president and his partners in crime, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reed are leading us down that road to mediocrity for some socialist principle like redistributive justice or entitlement of everyone to have everything regardless or whether it was earned or not. America, the country where everyone gets a TROPHY even if you are a loser or didn't even show up to play the game.

MEET the DEPRESSED

On Meet The Press today with David Gregory, one of the guests was Dee Dee Myers of Clinton Administration fame. There is no one more Democrat than she. The word "TRIAGE" was used by her when describing what the DEMS can do to stave of a bloodbath in the upcoming November elections. Triage, in the medical sense, is the process of dividing incoming wounded patients into categories depending on their likelihood of survival. You spend no time on those who haven't got a chance and just tag'em and put them in a room. You pull out all the stops and spend your resources on the probable survivors.

Dee Dee Myers got it right. The President will campaign and the DNC will direct money to those Congressional Districts where their candidate has a "Chinaman's Chance" of winning. The rest are tagged and placed in the room where they get nothing but a cold compress and some pain meds.

Do not assume that your present DEM politician who isn't representing you or anything you stand for in your district will be left to perish. You have to make sure that he is down for the count. VOTE early and often. His or her only chance is that REP voters will be complacent and take victory for granted and stay home on election day. Hit'em when they are down and administer the coup-de-grace. Or, like Freddy Kruger, they will rise and get you.

The WILL to WIN

Whether it is in self-defense or war, the will to win is the most important factor in survival. No matter how many fancy weapons or martial arts skills you possess, if you are unwilling to win at any cost, your enemy will prevail. We have the strongest military on the planet and the latest in technological gizmos. My friends who served in various armed forces constantly e-mail me photos of the latest stealth fighter or bunker buster that our military-industrial complex has invented and sold to the Department of Defense. I usually reply something to the effect "then why are we making such little headway against a bunch of stone age idiots riding camels?" It is my opinion that though our individual soldiers are the best, the will to win or lack thereof begins in Washington, D.C. Our national resolve resembles being attacked by a rapist in a hardware store, having a shovel and a ball-peen hammer at your fingertips and not using them because it wouldn't be fair or you can't bring yourself to hurt someone else even if that someone else was without a conscience and harming you beyond belief.

If you are in a street fight, and all war is, the Marquis of Queensbury is irrelevant. It is your life that is at stake. There are no rules and the only goal is to win and survive. A lifetime of training in how to submit and hope you can survive long enough for the legal system to help you has not done you any favors. So many things go through your mind that have no business being there. Just as in war...Is our cause justified? Is there a peaceful solution? Is my response proportional to the attack?

Forget all that crap. Your enemy/attacker is not asking himself the same questions. You place yourself at a disadvantage when you do. If you do not have the will to win when confronted by someone who wants to kill you....stay home and hide. The president will protect you just like he protects our borders, our banking system, and our housing market. Wait. He isn't doing any of that. Maybe it's up to me to protect myself? Do I have the will? Do we need stronger leaders who are willing to do whatever it takes to protect us and allow us to protect ourselves?

9-11 and RELIGION

This photo of the World Trade Center towers collapsing after the Islamic Terrorist Attack of 9-11-01 evoke different feelings in each of us. If you're a radical islamist you are dancing in the the streets today and filled with determination to make Satan (the US) suffer some more, and cut more heads off the snake. This is in stark contrast to the memorial events of today where were are re-attending the death of our American peace of mind. It is an almost Jewish revisitation of Shiva and annual memorialization rather than a "We're mad as Hell and we are not going to take this anymore" attitude. Fine, lets have our moments of silence and laying of wreaths but then it is time to reclaim our national testicles and reflect on the fact that the people responsible for this attack on our soil are still out there alive and well while our citizens are dead and buried. They attack us anywhere they wish and we follow unrealistic rules of engagement in their rat infested prehistoric countries. They shoot at our troops and then run and hide in the sanctuary of one of their sacred mosques. Or they hide among school children and the sick while our American sensibilities prevent us from chasing them into schools and hospitals because we fear collateral damage and world opinion.

Our enemies do not understand weakness and understanding, they understand only violent response to their violent acts. It's the core of their belief system. They think we are weak little children and women and they have neither fear nor respect for our half-hearted national resolve. And now on this national day or mourning and remembrance we show even more weakness in their eyes by our KUMBAYA concerns about some guy who wants to burn a Quiran in Florida and another who wants to build a Mosque next door to the site of the destroyed World Trade Center. They capitalize on our weakness by their threats to do something really bad if we don't allow them to build or let what's-his-name in Florida burn their book. And we fold like a house of cards. Our leaders are more concerned with political correctness than destroying our enemy.

I don't think Teddy Roosevelt would have been so concerned about whose toes we step on in far away lands populated by enemies who are sworn to destroy us. If we continue to be weaker that our enemy, by choice, we will soon be living under Sharia Law. Or you can choose to believe "Everything is OK, I can go back to watching American Idol."

THE PARTY'S OVER

This street sign says it all. June 1 to Sept 30 is the SEASON up here in Nantucket. They are real fussy about parking during that time. After Sept 30, they no longer give a damn because everyone went home except the 7000 locals that live here all year. As I look back on the past 3 1/2 months I ponder "what have I learned?" Among many things, I have come up with my TOP 10 list for the island for places to eat and a couple of other things. You should print this and save it in case you ever come up here for vacation.

THE ORACLE'S TOP TEN

1) Best sandwich on Nantucket: Something Natural on Cliff Road. Right in the heart of one of the islands Ritziest neighborhoods. Sandwiches stuffed to overflowing with whatever you want and the bread is yummy. You only need a half...about $6.

2) Best Thai food: Siam to Go inside the Ice rink on Bacchus Road off Surfside, near the High School. It is the snack bar at the ice rink and is a real SHOCKER as to how good it is considering that the other customers are carrying hockey sticks. Strictly take out.

3) Best Bike Shop: YOUNG's on Broad Street. There are no bad bike shops but this one rivals any you would find in a big city. Harvey Young, the owner is on site 6 days a week and runs a tight ship. Brand new bikes...Trek and Cannondale. And their map is the best on the island.

4) Best Hand Made furniture: Stephen Swift on Main Street. Run by Louise Swift and Brad Fair. Their stuff is found in the finest homes on Nantucket and they ship to anywhere.

5) Best Breakfast and some great lunch items: Like their Philly Steak and Cheese sandwich, go to Downyflake on Sparks Avenue near the Rotary. Can be crowded but the food is worth it.

6) Best Jamaican Food: What? Yes, you heard me, Jamaican. There a lots of Jamaicans on the island and they have a place to go and you should too. It's the ROTARY Restaurant on of all places, the Rotary. #1 on my list is the Jerk Chicken and Rice and Beans, with a side of fried plantain. Hey, mon, it good nuh ras.

7) Best typical New England Burger/Lobster roll/Bar joint: Brotherhood of Thieves on Broad Street. They have a historic first floor, modern second floor, and an outside dining room too.

8) Best Bar that's too crowded to enjoy: LoLa 41 on South Beach Street about a block from where we live. Even New Yorkers would like this but leave your all black Gothic outfit at home, it's still Nantucket.

9) Best Chinese food: The Harbor Wok at the Jared Coffin House at the corner of Broad Street and Center Street. I recommend the General Gao's Chicken. They serve 22 ounce cans of Saporo Beer. They have real asians working there.

10) Best Pizza: Sea Grille near the Stop and Shop. It is a great sea food place that has an unfortunate institutional atmosphere. Their pizza is way better than what they try to sell you at Pi Pizza or Sophie T's. They do not sell any bad food. Reservations needed for a reason.

11) Best place to meet real characters who are the fiber of Nantucket: The Wharf Rat Club on the Old North Wharf. It is a block away from the busiest spot on Main Street but 1000 miles away spiritually. They enjoy guests. Bring your best jokes and stories and a bag of Pretzels. Leave your political correctness at the door.

INDIVIDUAL RIGHTS not COLLECTIVE RIGHTS

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government,"

Our president, Mr. Obama, the constitutional scholar and former editor of the Harvard law review speaks often on the collective rights of human beings. The Declaration of Independence, which began the whole process of the formation of the United States spoke of individual rights that came from our creator and not from our government. THIS ENTIRE PERSPECTIVE HAS BEEN PERVERTED BY OUR PRESENT GOVERNMENT. They think that they grant us our rights to do everything and without their permission we have no rights. I REJECT their philosophy and so should you. If you are a believer in God and salvation, ask yourself if it is the acts of your race or your gender or your nation that will grant you admission to Heaven, or is it the actions or faith of you yourself. So it is with your existence in the here and now. You are an individual with rights from your creator and they do not depend upon your membership in a subset of American life. Think about this as you enter the voting booth this fall. Will you vote for someone who believes that you are only a member of a group and only that group has rights which you partake of, or someone who believes you are an individual whose rights do not come from Washington as Mr. Obama believes. Tell the Socialists in power to go to HELL. You get your rights from your creator. Listen attentively to your candidates. If you hear about collective rights, RUN the OTHER WAY. Collectivism is SLAVERY.

PUTANESCA from the word PUTA

Though this is not strictly speaking "Putanesca" it is derivative. Putanesca refers to the dishes "women of the night" would make in Europe out of whatever they had left in the kitchen. This delicious dish is from Casa de Kitty's kitchen. Chicken from Stop and Shop, Spicy stewed tomatoes with Parmesan cheese and spinach tortellini. Mmmmmm. After many nights of dining out in the best restaurants in Nantucket, it is great to look forward to a home cooked meal. The main course was preceded by a walnut vinegarette salad with cranberries and goat cheese and followed by a home-made banana bread. Quite scrumptious.

FIRST LADIES of France, Spain, and the USA

YOU MAY BE RIGHT, I MAY BE CRAZY

These lyrics from Billy Joel may well sum up the Oracle's reality testing or lack thereof. There was a time when I would buy a new car every six months (new to me not necessarily off the showroom floor) and had as many as 5 at a time. While I am no Jay Leno and most of them would be worth nothing on the collector market had I kept them, I had fun, most of the time. I can remember a few that I bought and got buyers remorse driving off the lot, but then there were some that I fondly remember. Not for the usual reasons of right of passage... the first speeding ticket, or the first real back-seat romance with Betsy Wilson, but because they were the external answer to an internal dream. Speed and agility sometimes, off road prowess another, or maybe Luxury and Bling.

At this point in my life, I crave simplicity. These 4 months in Nantucket have reinforced my belief that you don't have to be constantly entertained or surrounded by opulence to be happy. Sure, just being able to take off for 4 months is a luxury but beyond that, I have not walked as many miles in the past decade nor enjoyed it as much. Not becoming dehydrated on the way to the mailbox as I would have in Sarasota may have something to do with it but all the same I would not have walked an hour round trip for a sandwich back in Florida, as I did yesterday, even if there were a sandwich shop as good as Something Natural. I wrote about that place many times. Walking there is actually a sound idea because the parking is horrendous. The last time I was there in my car, I was one of 5 cars backing out simultaneously into the center of a circular parking lot. Think Mexican Standoff. It's way better now that the tourists have gone home. But I digress.

I have downloaded several pictures of the Jeep Wrangler 2-door from the internet and I photograph them on the road...and they are everywhere on Nantucket. It is like a white Toyota Camry would be in a parking lot in Sarasota. Despite the lack of individuality, it emotionally brings me back to those school yard days when all the kids would arrive on Raleigh English racer bikes with 3 speed Sturmey-Archer gears and wire saddle baskets filled with books. We would meet at the bike rack as we locked our bikes with a chain and the same model Master combination lock in chrome with a black face. 7 to the right, 23 left, 14 right...open. It's that kind of elemental simplicity. It is the antithesis of standing in front of the Casino in Monte Carlo, which I have done more than once, and watching the valets park one-of-a-kind exotic cars that cost an average of over $250, 000 and run into the millions.

So while the Kitty will continue to roll in style in a Mercedes-Benz, the next time you see the Oracle in Sarasota, he will probably be driving something like a Jeep Wrangler or a Mini Cooper...the ubiquitous Island cars here in Nantucket. You will be able to know it's mine as there will NOT be a surfboard on the top.

DUCK DUCK

They sure have a lot of ducks up here in Nantucket. They are everywhere. Throw some cheese doodles in the water and before you can say "Duck" they are there. There are places on the island where these critters gather by the hundreds. One prime location is on Fairgrounds Road where they get duck welfare in the form of daily feedings from some guy whose neighbors I am sure have a contract out on him. Another is where Washington and Union come together, on the waterfront side.

Back in Sarasota we have ducks every season that sit by our pool. Several years ago, a pair of ducks (not a paradox) landed in the pool and we heard this commotion. Apparently when ducks mate, they are rather vocal. Within a few weeks we noticed 10 little fuzzy ducklings swimming in the pool...peeping. Momma duck ran around the perimeter of the pool...quacking. The pool level was normal but the edge of the pool was still too high for the ducklings to jump out. Clearly they would be in trouble if left in this condition as they become waterlogged and fatigued. What to do? I built an inclined ramp out of wood and a carpet for them to walk up and escape.

Ducks are apparently territorial and they return to their place of birth, our pool, their pond. Since they eat a lot of dirt along with their food, the bottom of the pool got very dirty very quickly. The pool man would come on Tuesday and the pool would be dirty by Wednesday. I called animal control for help thinking that government would be there for us. Not happening They weren't interested. So I called Animal Rescue...ditto. The Humane Society...they hung up. Finally in desperation I called the ASPCA, lover of all animals, for advice. They recommended that I call a man who owns a Vietnamese Restaurant and a Mullet net and he would come over and solve my problem. Before I could call, the ducks were grown and flew away.

Every spring an adult pair sits by the poolside apparently reliving fond memories of when their family was born and bred at this pond. They must be too old to have more ducklings because after a couple of seasons the duckling problem has disappeared. Or maybe they just found a nicer "Infinity" pond in a swankier neighborhood or they summer in Nantucket.

YOU DIRTY RAT

Part of Hollywood apocrypha is that either James Cagney or George Raft, two old time movie stars ever said "You dirty rat." There is one thing that is certain... there are "Rats" in Nantucket and they are proud of it. After a summer of being their guest at the Wharf Rat Club on the Old North Wharf, I can attest that they are everything that was described in the Boston Globe and National Geographic... a rag tag group of interesting men and women who refer to one another as "Rats." They gather each morning at their clubhouse (the right side of the photo) and tell tall tales and discuss every subject under the sun. The Kitty and I will be leaving Nantucket in a couple of weeks. It has been a great summer marred only by a personal loss back home of a dear friend and a few rainy days. As great as this place is, with grand babies and friends, sandwiches at Something Natural, and near perfect weather for walking and bicycling, it was my time at the Wharf Rat Club that put the icing on the cake. Thanks to everyone on deck. I hope to see you again next year.

BIRTHDAY GRAND FINALE

It should have come as no surprise that the Birthday Dinner at the Westmoor Club that my son-in-law and daughter planned to the most minute detail ended with the culinary equivalent of a FIREWORKS display. The food, and wine, not to mention the beautiful women from Sarasota who attended, were exquisite. The staff was very attentive and the table was artfully set right down to the personally printed "Happy Birthday Shirley (Kitty)" menus.

The coup-de-grace was, however, the birthday cake which was not a cake at all but rather this assortment of the most decadent desserts ever put on one tray. Yes, they tasted as good as they looked. It was a very special evening for The Kitty, in fact the whole day was amazing. the weather here in Nantucket cooperated by being sunny clear and in the 70s. There were gifts of all sorts, and shopping, lunch with 5 special cookies baked by the grand-babies that spelled K-I-T-T-Y, and of course this dinner with "the Posse" from Sarasota in attendance at the Westmoor club. Thank you everyone for being a part of the Kitty's 39th birthday bash, and a special thanks to Mark for this banquet.

The JOISEY SHORE

Several years ago there was a movie. IDIOCRACY, about a future in which people were so stupid that two ordinary citizens who time traveled from the present day were the smartest people on Earth in that future civilization. The movie touched on several reasons for this evolution to ignorance. I have some well justified fears that we are in the process of fulfilling this prophesy. Case in point, Snookie, one of the three girls in the photo to the right. We have the Bachelor, the Bachelorette, Deal of No Deal which would be better named brain or no brain, and a host of other prime time entertainment. Half our population, which probably corresponds to the half that pay no taxes, spends countless hours in front of the well named "Idiot Box" being educated in the ways of the Jersey Shore or the Housewives of.....wherever.

Not that everybody should only watch the History channel, or PBS, there are some really thoughtful and entertaining shows on every night but they are becoming fewer and fewer. Everytime a "24" goes off the air, it is replaced by "Idiots on Parade." It is part of the degradation of society in general and either is a follower of our dumbed down nation (thank you to the American educational system) or a leader (thank you Hollywood) and is gathering speed like a snowball rolling down a steep hill. Do yourself a favor and drive by a local middle or high school and look at the student body as they gather on the sidewalk. You will ask yourself..."How can Snookie be so many places at the same time?" Maybe, she is a Kardashian.

TELL IT LIKE I SEE IT

When I was young, I used to give my opinion about everything as if it were the only opinion that mattered. With maturity I learned to listen more and understand that the opinions of others have value and one can learn from every encounter. I was wrong. Some people's opinions are just crap. Case in point...anything you hear on MSNBC. Every single one of their signature cable shows, Rachel Maddow, and Keith Olberman for example, are sophomoric attempts at cleverness and faux analysis but are in essence vitriolic BS aimed at destroying the Real America that made it possible for idiots like these to have a TV show at all. I have nothing against Lesbians, just pompous stupid ones. Same goes for The Ed show, and that evolving RINO (Republican in name only) Joe Scarboro and his far-lefty sidekick, Mika.

If you have a job, want a job, or believe that a job is a good thing, you should never turn on MSNBC. Their entire agenda is that America is made up of hyphenated-people of different races, creeds, and national origins, who are all better than white people born in America. Every one of us should do penance in the form of higher taxes and government programs to support people whose ancestors 200 years ago were treated badly. Their creed is to alter our society, language, and customs to conform to any and every oddball that lands on our shores, rather than expecting them to conform to ours. Footbaths for New York taxi drivers? Are you F'ing kidding me? Teaching school and voting in Spanish? Free everything for folks who sneak over our borders? Drop a kid out of your illegal alien womb in a hospital in Texas and he or she becomes an immediate American? Are we serious? Punish Arizona for trying to protect itself because the Obama administration won't do that job?

If you think that we owe every mutt on the planet a free ride and that working is for suckers, then MSNBC is the only station you should watch. I would be willing to bet, that these hemi-commies give a meager share of their huge incomes to help the real needy, like that phony Joe Biden whose charitable contributions for the year prior to his election were under $1000. My landscaper gives more than that.

VOTE for the lesser of two evils... the Republican Party. They may be imperfect but is not their wet-dream to take away all your hard earned money and redistribute it to the Democrat voter base...illegals, multigenerational welfare recipients, and labor unions. WAKE UP, AMERICA.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KITTY

TODAY IS THE KITTY'S BIRTHDAY. She is 39 again. People ask me how I met this feline. It was in 1963 in Jamaica, West Indies, and I was on vacation there, at a hotel on the North Coast. Being the "filled to the brim with testosterone" guy I was in those days, I had my eye peeled and followed my pointer toward feminine pulchritude. There she was, with her two cousins. A vision of exotic beauty. I was immediately smitten, and I knew "this was the one." For you guys out there it was a teenager going to a car lot and among all the gray sedans, there sat a red corvette convertible, its engine rumbling, with shiny chrome, and real leather upholstery. Suffice it to say, in those days, test drives were not commonplace in courtships as they might have been in buying a car. You basically had to go on the paint and the sound of the radio. Anyway, the prospects of traveling down the road of life with this beauty was too awesome to resist. We spent some days together and then had to part company as I went back to the USA and had to leave my "Island Girl" behind.

The rest of the story is kind of interesting but I will save it for another day. Anyway it was 47 years ago (wait, the math doesn't add up) that I spent some time in the summer on an island with the woman who would one day become "The Kitty" my wife. Here I am with her on another island almost half a century later and it still feels like the first time I laid eyes on her on the North Coast of Jamaica. Amazing.

No Comment Necessary

GIVE ME SOME SPACE

Without the space between the notes there would be no music. Without the spaces between words we would have no meaning. These are good examples of how dead air or filler helps to create beautiful works of art. This is not true in society. Sociologically speaking, we have too much FILLER, dead air, and INERT ingredients in our society. When HALF of the potential tax payers in America pay ZERO taxes...there's a problem with the system. These folks have no SKIN in the GAME. They have nothing to lose by their choices and everything (free stuff) to gain. So the system is like that mythical invention the Perpetual Motion Machine, self oiling, and self perpetuating, and ultimately self-defeating.

The only hope for America in this upcoming election is that the proletariat is so wrapped up in watching American Idol, or the Bachelorette, that they forget to go to the polls. But if they did all vote, they would surely all vote Democrat. Not that I am in love with the Republican party, but get serious out there, if you have a job, had a job, or will ever get a job, why would you want to vote for a party where their platform is free everything for anyone whether you work or not, whether you belong in this country legally or not, and whether you ever contributed anything to our society other than whining for more. I understand that labor union bosses and politicians are in one another's pockets. What I find difficult to fathom is how a hard working man of any color, who puts in 40 hours a week at a construction site can vote to elect a politician who wants him to send part of his paycheck into the IRS so the government can give it to another man who couldn't bother to get out of bed to look for a job. Ever.

Let's say you think of America as a product, a vitamin tablet for example. Notice the ingredients listed on the label. there are active ingredients that make you healthier and are the reason you bought the product. Then there are inactive or INERT ingredients. Leaving the election in the hands of the inert members of our society who contribute nothing to our country is a PILL that's too hard to SWALLOW.

N O T I C E

The ORACLE apologizes to his loyal readership for not publishing over the last week. I tried to make up for it today. The I-O, loyal APPLE computer sycophant, was "dead in the water" when his faithful writing companion, MAC the laptop, crashed. I have an iPhone, an AirPort wireless modem, and just about everything else APPLE makes. I ordered, received, and immediately sent back my iPAD because it seemed to be extraneous and an overlap to my existing technology. So I don't have one of those. Maybe later.

I took my MAC computer to Computer Solutions here on Nantucket. I have bought two printers, lots of ink, and paper, and some other gizmos there over the past month and they are generally nice and competent. They sell APPLE products and I have bought things from them for a fair price considering the island we live on. They have NO IDEA what they are doing when it comes to repairing a MAC laptop, in my opinion. I took it in, left if for a few days, paid $50, and took it home. It still did not work so after trying to save a few files that had not been backed up to disc, thumbdrive, or external hard drive, I FedEx shipped it to my local reseller in Sarasota, Computer Advantage. They called a couple of days later to tell me it may be covered under a recall even though my AppleCare extended warranty has expired. I have patronized them more than once and have been satisfied in the past. I will keep my fingers crossed and hope that I will not have to shell out $$$$ for a new laptop. I am not a spreadsheet guy or a gamer so I don't need all the bells and whistles that come on the new models and cost more. I WILL LET YOU KNOW.

The CISCO KID

One of the great pleasures of living on Nantucket is going out to the CISCO brewery near Bartlett's farm. It is an outdoor venue that I wrote about a while back that reminds me of a biker campground in Daytona Beach but without the bikes. They don't make much there, the hootch manufacturing plant is actually on the mainland. They do apparently make some beer. My favorite is not the Whale's Tale pictured, it is too bitter for me, but the Gray Lady which has a hint of lime juice. This week we were on our way to buy some veggies at the farm and passed CISCO and it was jumpin' with people and there were cars parked all over the road. Apparently this is common over the weekend and they even have a band. What they don't apparently have, as reported by the Inquirer and Mirror (Inky Mirror to locals) newspaper, is environmental consciousness. A front page article appeared this week that indicated that CISCO has violated too many to count environmental laws concerning the disposal of the byproducts of the production of beer and the septic tanks were overflowing.

I guess the young people who follow Al Gore and the Save Our Planet folks either did not read the paper or they just don't care about the environment when it gets in the way of a Keg Party. We are in Massachusetts, the home of John Kerry, the former Ted Kennedy, and Michael Dukakis. You would think that being "green" here would be more important than it would be to Kermit the Frog. I will go out to CISCO again next week to see if there are any tree huggers carrying signs "Save the Whales(tale)"

FAMILY is EVERYTHING

Ah, the immortal words of Don Vito Corleone. As we learned from the Godfather series of movies, there are two kinds of people, family, and everyone else. It reminds me of a story from my youth. I spent a little time on a farm, not the funny-farm as you might think, and was being taken on an introductory tour by a young girl of about 10. She pointed to a cow that she called Daisy. "She is our pet." Then she pointed to other cows who were unnamed and she said these are cows...we get milk from them and sometimes we eat them. Likewise with all of the animals on the farm. Some were named pets, others were food. They looked the same to me. The point being, we separate all living things into those two categories...the ones we care about who can do no wrong because they are family or pets, and everyone else, of they are the Tataglias, someone else's family, and we care because it's good for business.

So, once again, the movies give us our most important lessons. We learn that it's OK to be a whore if you are Julia Roberts and your "John," Edward (not John Edwards) is handsome Richard Gere. That wolves are bad, and pigs are good, and that only an evil person would shoot Bambi's mother (Bambi the deer not the porn star). Whole other civilizations live on other planets and their queen is Natalie Portman. And if you want to do an impression of Marlon Brando being Vito Corleone, speak as if you are trying to clear your throat, but don't.

Well, that brings me back to the subject of family, the people who are within the "Circle of Trust" as deNiro described it in "Meet the Fockers." Once you are inside that circle, you can do no wrong. Or if you do wrong, everyone forgives and forgets because you are "family."

NATURE or NURTURE

The eternal question in education, sociology and science is whether human beings are what they are because they were born that way (Nature) or were trained by their parents or society (Nurture). I believe that the photo to the left answers that eternal question without the expense of a double-blind study or a huge Federal Grant to a major university. It is a picture of a 2 year old whose mother and grandmother, whom we shall refer to as Thelma and Louise, went to the Lily Puliter store on Nantucket and bought these "Legally Blonde"pink sandals.

In the wild, items like this do not exist. Sure, there are flowers in this color, but one would not be inclined to wear them on ones feet. It is only through the magic of the Fashion Industrial Complex that something like this could come into being, and be sold to a gaggle of women shopping at Lily. "Ay, que linda!" or "How, cute!" and pretty soon, Little Miss Muffet has "learned (nurture)" that shoes, particularly with names like Manolo. Lily, Ralph, or Jimmy Choo, are the main reason for getting up in the morning. And the eternal mystery is solved. Once the acorn of style is planted at this early age, the oak tree of con-shoe-merism grows. And "Itsy Bitsy Spider" is shoved out of the way by Isty Betsy Johnson. There, I've saved a bundle of money from the stimulus package so other important scientific studies can be done, like "Why boys pee off the front porch." I'm thinking that's probably nurture too, but I am willing to hear what comes out of the Harvard study.

JIM "CHICKEN LITTLE" CANTORE STRIKES AGAIN

The word "HURRICANE" strikes fear in my heart. No, not because of the actual danger of weather but because the Weather Channel lets Jim Cantore out of his cage and sends him to North Carolina, Florida, or wherever they can take a picture of him standing outside in a windbreaker getting hit in the face with driving rain while holding a microphone. Jim, cousin to Maria Bartiromo the Grim Reaper of CNBC who excitedly reports stock market crashes, has only one job..."scare the living crap out of everyone."

Through the clever use of stock footage from previous hurricanes, tidal waves, and the movie "Armageddon" Jim single handedly causes a rise in plywood futures, batteries, and the sale of Aquafina Water. His "signature move" is to stand at some lonely beach with the wind blowing and waves crashing in the background. The venue is usually an out island in the path of a hurricane. There is an urgency for him to get there and stake out a location before the surfers get into the water and spoil the shot. The other urgency is to get as much 24 hour breaking news in as he can before the hurricane is downgraded. Hurricane Earl started as a category 4 and by the time it reached Nantucket it was a drizzle.

If Jim had been on Nantucket, the only way he could have gotten wet was if someone turned a hose on him. He had more effect on this island than the weather. As a result of "the sky is falling" round-the-clock coverage by the Weather Channel, inhabitants had no other option but to board up their businesses. The above photo was the Ralph Lauren store on Main Street in Downtown Nantucket. The ferry boats were cancelled, there was a run on toilet paper and water at the Stop and Shop, and everywhere you went, the TV was on with Jim standing in the rain. I hope this guy takes plenty of Zicam. I heard a story last night about him placing himself in danger once again and having to re-shoot because some little old lady with a shopping cart walked by.

Among the most famous moments of Hurricane Earl was when Jim was standing in North Carolina and commented that he could smell pine trees and knew that this meant that branches were broken. I heard a rumor that someone had hung a pine scented car freshener on his microphone. I will have to go back to the archive to see if it is visible, and to see if the little old lady that took her life into her own hands by going outside ever got her Polygrip at the Stop and Shop.