The QUEEN'S English vs YOGI BERRA'S English

I have lived in many areas of this country. I spent the first 25 years of my life in New York, the last 35 in Florida, and most recently, the last 4 months in Nantucket. There has been a heated discussion lately about the "Official Language" of America and how it should be English. I am here to tell it it never has been ENGLISH even before the great Reconquista (retaking of the southwest) by 12 million Mexicans, or the capture of Florida by the entire population of Cuba.

There are major regional differences in pronunciations and choice of words. Up here in New England, a Pizza is Peetzer, a car is a cah, and the rule seems to be "if it ends in an A pronounce it as R and if ends in an R pronounce it as an A." But that is just the beginning. New York is pronounced New YAWK by New Yorkers. (New Yorkahs for people from the Cape.) Brooklyn is pronounced BWooklyn , a dog is a dawg, and so on. These are just regional differences in pronunciation and are not actually grammatically incorrect.

Sometimes a whole nation can pronounce a word awfully wrong. Case in point "BRETT FAVRE" a 20 year veteran of NFL football. Everyone in America, including Brett himself, pronounces his name wrong. (FARV). There is NO language on the planet in which when the V precedes the R, it is pronounced as if the R precedes the V. Besides, Brett is of French and Choctaw ancestry and his name in French is pronounced without any silent letters. Fahv Ruh. 150,000,000 men in America get this wrong.

When I lived in Texas near where the Juarez gangs are now at War with the Federales (We doan gotta cho you no steenkin bodges) there are several regional ingrained errors of language. There is a town in nearby New Mexico called Ruidoso, which means "noisy" in spanish. Because every man woman and child in Texas is familiar with the word "RIO" because that's what their housekeeper crossed to get to work, the town was called RIO-DOSA.

Even our small little hamlet of Sarasota has some oddities. Everyone knows you are an out-of-towner if you pronounce the street name Bahia Vista 'BA-HE-AH" instead of BAY-YA Vista. Just like Houston Street in New Yawk is pronounced HOW-STON and in Texas it is YOU-STON. I wonder what Sam HOWSTON would think of that.

Finally, let's talk about the Queen and her language. Color is Colour, Harbor is Harbour, and Center is Centre. But that is just the beginning. The trunk of your cah is the BOOT, and the hood, is the BONNET. Aluminum is AluMINIum. Chicks (young women) are birds and on and on... there are thousands of differences. Don't be a wanker.

So, enough for now, I am going to go out now for a Peetzer and a Beah in my cah, and come home and watch something on the Telly, or the tube, or TV. Maybe Yogi is on. There is a lot more to say on the subject of language and "It ain't over 'til it's over." See you (youze) tomorrow.