I WRITE therefore I AM

I always wanted to be an author. Not this thing I write that is read by a handful of friends but something that has a hard cover, sells for $22.95 at Barnes and Noble, eventually goes into the bargain book section and sells for $3.95 on remainder, and maybe, just maybe, has an e-book edition available from Amazon-Kindle. That is my definition of an author. Some day, nothing will be written on paper and an author will be virtually expressed. For now, i have to have the goal of being "published."

When deciding to follow ones Muse, an "author" has to decide what it is he wants to say, about what subject and in which form.. humor, novel. non-fiction, self-help, or poetry. One of my favorite subjects is common sense, and in particular common sense about how we conduct our lives... and manage our health, or lack thereof. Everything has an opportunity for metaphor. Will your car last very long if you load up the trunk with concrete blocks, put six big people in it and drive on a bumpy road? I think not. How about feeding it kerosene instead of high-test gasoline? Leaving it in the garage for months at a time without taking it for a run to clear out the carbon and cobwebs? There...a metaphor for our health. And common sense at the same time. Not too funny, but I will try harder next time. But then again, maybe our health and what we can do about it is NO LAUGHING MATTER. On the other hand...Oscar Wilde wrote "Life is too important to be taken seriously."

ACADEMY A-BOREDS

Watched the whole thing last night including the Red Carpet perp-walk. Neither the Kitty nor I were overwhelmed by the beauty of the movie stars, in fact we commented that models, though less talented at "acting" were far more beautiful. The dresses were God-awful in many cases. Most had the one shoulder thing going on and lots of material around the bottom in one form or another. These four actresses were omnipresent. Gwineth attempted to sing some country and western song and thankfully the instruments drowned out most of her inability to hold a note.

There were no serious Oscar contenders of the African-American persuasion so the Academy felt it had to overcompensate by featuring some talented black people throughout the evening such as Jennifer (I lost a ton of weight) Hudson to the left in an Orange dress, Halle Berry, Morgan Freeman, Oprah, and others...none of whom had anything to do with the movies chosen this year. They even had some inner city choir round out the evening after the Best Actress, Actor, and Picture awards when everyone had lost interest in the ceremony and was mentally on the way to the after-parties.

I don't see anything wrong with a year in which none of the awards were given to black actors any more than I would see anything wrong when the MVP in every sport but hockey went to a black athlete. This is not "racism." Some years the best performances are the work of fantastic black actors like Denzel Washington, and some years it's some white-waif or old English "queen" and of all places, race has nothing to do with it in the Oscars. The liberal "guilt" and their attempts to assuage it aside, the ceremony was as boring as it always is. I don't know why we watch it...maybe it's tradition. As for the movies, I still don't understand Inception. I will probably watch it again on Comcast on Demand. The Lesbian movies did not look all that interesting. And Natalie Portman and her big belly were nowhere as unique as they portrayed it to be, being as how everyone on the planet originally came from a woman with a big belly. I plan to rent "Black Swan" and watch it with the Ballet scenes edited out. As for the King who stuttered it does not sound like a theme I always wished they made a movie about, but I promise to watch it and give you the Oracle-view.

OK, FATIMA, LETS PUT ON OUR JEANS AND GO SHOPPING

Kind of makes "MOM JEANS" look tight. Contrast this to what we see young ladies wearing at the typical American mall. Painted-on jeans, hanging so low, that a Brazilian Wax job is absolutely necessary. Couple that with the pierced belly button, the tattoo peering over the top of the jeans, and a tube top and it's enough to send anyone on a Jihad against the Gap. At first, when you stroll through the mall, you can't help but look at the "ladies" and their skimpy attire. After a while, you see why some of them would be more attractive in a Burka. Nothing says "sexy" like a spare tire hanging over the top of ones jeans and a pair of saddlebags that Roy Rogers would have been proud to drape over Trigger.

SWEET 19

Once upon a time, the Oracle was a teenager and had a Harley way before having one was cool. This photo in my backyard in New York in the winter shows me on an old full size kick start model that I bought for 350 dollars that I saved from collecting scrap metal. Notice the lack of a helmet, yet despite this and having a BB gun, a car without seatbelts, and a diet of real creamery butter, here I am today, 67 years old. Still kicking, just not to kick start and old Harley.

NOW THAT I'VE GOT YOUR ATTENTION

This weekend, we have lots of house guests at the Casa de Oracle. My son his wife, my sister in law and her husband, and our grandchildren, of course, affectionately known as the CBs (crazy babies) for their frenetic ways. There is always this perception that we have to do something special like go to the Zoo, the Beach, something when in reality, all everyone wanted to do was hang out (see above photo) and have a relaxed ISLAND time. To that end, within the past hour I had a beer, a glass of wine, a diet Pepsi and a cup of coffee. There was garlic Hummus, and fruit of all types. Almost everyone tried his hand at fishing and the CBs put their hands into the bait bucket and pulled out some live shrimp.

All in all. we didn't do a damn thing, but at the end of the day (and it is not yet over as there is barbecue in our near future) we had an "Island" day filled with nothing but eating drinking, hanging out, and being with those we love.

ANOTHER PIZZA PLEASE

Without being judgmental, but rather altruistic, and wishing as a physician, to be helpful... one cannot escape the irony of these two ladies sitting in a Pizzeria. While most Americans have a little more flab then ideal, there are those who go the extra mile to so far on one side of the bell curve that it causes the curve to lean. It is not possible to have this much extra weight without going out of your way to do it. Fat does not come from air.

Years ago a guy came into my office and broke my exam table in the middle when he sat on it. We had the table repaired and doubly reinforced in case he ever came back. Fortunately he was not injured or somehow it would have been my fault or the fault of the table manufacturer. Are these potential "Biggest Loser" contestants able to be rescued by ordinary means? I doubt it. Perhaps we need to develop entirely new medical technology to deal with this level of obesity. Where do you start here? It's like asking me to climb Mount Everest. I see the end point, it's the getting there from the base camp that poses a problem.

The VICTIMS WERE VERY CAREFUL

The following was taken off Comcast News:

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — They were four adventure seekers who loved the sea and wanted to see the world. Friends said they were meticulous and planned for any dangers, but even that couldn't prepare them for the Somali pirates who stormed their yacht and took their lives.

The boat's owners, Jean and Scott Adam of Marina del Rey, along with Bob Riggle and Phyllis Macay of Seattle, were shot to death early Tuesday, after pirates took them hostage on Friday about several hundred miles south of Oman.

Macay's niece, Nina Crossland, told reporters Tuesday that her aunt was "a very smart and avid sailor."

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU...BUT...this is a complete non-starter for me. To call people careful when they chose to travel alone (at the time) in a region controlled by Somali Pirates...is nonsense. It would be like saying Roy was careful when he played with Tigers. Puleeeze.

BOB KATZ

Yesterday morning while we were having breakfast at the Casa de Oracle on Siesta Key (island) Florida, we looked out the window and saw this Bobcat looking for something all over our yard. He went into every thicket and garden back and forth until he "spooked" a rabbit into running out into the open. Big mistake for the rabbit. This is one fast cat. I know the photo is blurry but I had to take it through the window with my iphone on a cloudy day etc. And I enlarged it for this blog. Anyway it was a good day for Bob Katz but not so much for Peter Rabbit.

There is a lot of wildlife here on the key and much of it is our back yard. We have cavorting dolphis, lumbering manatees, graceful Ospreys and turtles and snakes (non-poisonous).

This reminds me of a joke. A turtle was mugged in Central park by a gang of snails. The detective asked him to give details. The turtle said that he couldn't remember much "Because it all happened so fast." I guess everything is relative.

WHAT WOULD MARY DO?

2000 years ago this was fashionable dress in the Middle East. There was no American culture because there was no America. That's right, students in high school, there was no America, and no cell phones, and Jesus could not call his disciples together using Twitter.

A few years ago, we took an extended vacation to England and saw quite a few Shakespearean plays in Oxford, Cambridge, and Stratford on Avon. Sometimes the actors wore Elizabethan costumes but more often they wore 20th century clothes, jeans, t-shirts, suits and dresses. At first it was shocking until you got the message from the professors in attendance at many of these school based performances...Shakespeare wrote for the common people and his stories were meant to be contemporaneous. Though nobody pulled a Glock in Romeo and Juliet, the costumes suggested present day.

So, if it's good enough for Shakespeare to change with the times, though keeping the message and script, why would some cultures require their women to dress like they were living in the 4th century? I bet that if Jesus' mother Mary lived today, she probably would not dress like Madonna or Britney Spears but I would not be surprised is she shopped at Off Fifth.

HOI POLOI February 2011

HOI POLOI

Hoi polloi is an Ancient Greek expression meaning "the many", or in the strictest sense, "the majority". It is used in English to denote "the masses" or "the people", usually in a derogatory sense. Synonyms for "hoi polloi" include "... commoners, great unwashed, minions, multitude, plebeians, proletariat, rank and file, Riff Raff, the common people, the herd, the many, the plebs, the proles, the peons, the working class".

This is one of the most MISUSED words in the English language. Most people use it to mean the exact opposite of its real meaning. Often someone will say... "I am not dressed well enough to go out to that fancy place with the Hoi Poloi."

Wastin' Away in MARGARITAVILLE

Today is "Meaning of Life" day at Islandoracle. To the left is that "frozen concoction" mentioned in Jimmy Buffett's songs. The active ingredient is, not surprisingly, alcohol, the social lubricant, friend and foe to man. If you just "plopse" yourself in some resort, don't get behind the wheel or handlebars of any vehicles and listen to some live music, the day is usually made better by imbibing one of these. That is not to say that Spiritus Frumenti is essential to having fun, but even Jesus wasn't against the concept. ( see: Marriage Feast )

Last night, the Oracle and Miss Kitty attended a charity event benefitting the Animal Rescue Coalition... a group that is deeply in love with cats and dogs and provides spaying and neutering and rescues animals destined for euthanizing. The had a few puppies in arm circulating throughout the room and the mobile spaying and neutering van, parked in front. The food, music, and friends factor was excellent. They did not have Margaritas, per se, but there was plenty of Chardonnay etc. Doesn't taste half-bad with a lime in it.

Anyway, as I look through my east window, a beautiful sunny day is forming and we will hopefully spend some of it outdoors in the sun, maybe even taking a walk. We live about a 5 minute drive from the beach and perhaps it is a good day to go there via our private parking place/cabana we bought years ago but seldom use, that avoids "All of those tourists covered with oil" headed for the public beach and its limited parking lot.

FUNDRAISER for the HANDICAPPED

There is nothing more satisfying than knowing you can help another human being. Poor Charlie, overwhelmed with all those porn-stars, and a suitcase filled with cocaine when there are so many others out there who have none of this burden. So I propose starting a 501C3 charity that could be called.."Take the load off Charlie, and put the load right on me." (apologies to Easy Rider)

It is difficult to watch the ever so talented have to juggle the duties of shooting a TV sitcom, drugs, and a porn-star at the same time. One can only imagine the stress and the anxiety. I have difficulty balancing my checkbook. So when you read about the trials of celebrities, like Charlie, and Lindsay, don't judge them...help them. Unfortunately you won't be able to fill in for him at the TV studio, folks would recognize that the star of 2 1/2 MEN is "some dude they never saw before" but in the other areas of his life I am sure that once the party starts, no one will know who is who and what is what, and you can do your part to "take the pressure off" for our friend, Charlie. Charity begins at home, or maybe a nearby motel.

CHEESEBURGER in PARADISE

There is nothing tastier than the culinary concoction known as the Cheeseburger. Jimmy Buffett wrote a song:

Cheeseburger in paradise
Medium rare with mustard 'be nice
Heaven on earth with an onion slice
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise
I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good god almighty which way do I steer for my
Cheeseburger in paradise
I really enjoy one from time to time even though there are things that are healthier for me. Probably because I am getting older and some of my friends are no longer growing older or are getting sick with heart disease and similar ailments... in keeping with the "Better late than never" philosophy, which is supported by more than one medical author who says you can reverse years of bad food and lifestyle choices by cleaning up your act NOW.

The resources for finding out how to do this are everywhere, especially on some websites on the internet which are very reputable. I like WebMD, the Mayo Clinic, and Harvard Medical School websites. Just type in anything like heart disease, high blood pressure, cholesterol, or similar common ailments and they tell you what you have to do to turn things around. DO NOT DISPAIR that you have lead a life of dietary SIN you can repent and in a short time things will get better for you. You can lower cholesterol, reduce the risk of stroke and heart disease, and halt a multitude of ills by doing a little exercising, even taking a walk. You can change your diet without deprivation, and get off all those medications you are adding one by one to your daily routine. I have a brother-in-law who takes 14 different drugs every day and he is 10 years younger than I am. If he changed a few things he could cut his prescription use and COST in half.

You don't have to go to GNC and load up on everything they have, foods have most of what you need, with a little filling in the gaps here and there. It is easy with a multivitamin and perhaps a couple of other inexpensive supplements. I read a great article on WebMD this morning that recommended many things that are yummy and good for you at the same time. Dark chocolate, salmon, shellfish, ginger, yogurt, bananas, brazil nuts, tomato sauce, soy, vegetables, baked potato, whole eggs, high fiber cereal, brown rice, berries, coffee, and LEAN meat are their main recommendations. I like all these things, don't you? So, how hard is it to be healthy if you include colorful veggies, a few nuts and chocolate, and real meat (not fatty ground beef as often) in your routine? Sounds like a plan. Remember that "water which is too pure has no fish" so it's OK to eat some bad stuff "from time to time" just mostly...eat and live healthier.

Something Natural in Sarasota

I am sitting here on a park bench at the Field Club in Sarasota looking at my house across the water. It is a beautiful sunny day with a few billowy clouds overhead. It is 74 degrees. I stopped off at the Publix Supermarket deli on the way over here and bought a sandwich similar to the one I would have ordered at Something Natural in Nantucket. Boar's Head turkey, lettuce, tomatoes, spicy mustard, and Swiss cheese on a whole grain roll. Not only does the taste bring me back to Cliff Road on Nantucket but the weather and the serenity of this outdoor picnic area as well. I took out my iPhone, snapped a couple of pictures and wrote this. Tomorrow I am going to the beach. Probably stop at Anna's Sandwich Shop first.

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO EXERCISE

POMONA, The Restaurant

The Beach Boys will be performing at the LA County Fair in POMONA California. The place was mentioned in the song Little GTI about drag racing at the Pomona Race Track.

Last night we went to the Pomona Restaurant here in Sarasota. It is located just south of the Rosemary District and Just north of downtown, in other words it is nowhere. There is no VIBE or downtown activity. It is in a new building with plenty of parking in front. Other tenants in the building include Salons, and a cafe'. Like most new construction it has no patina but it is a clean and not-too-noisy square dining room and bar about the size of a waiting room at a medical clinic.

When we arrived at the restaurant we waited at the host station for about 10 minutes before anyone came to see who we were and honor our reservation for 7:30. They have been open for about 2 months and the logistics bugs have not been worked out yet. We were eventually ushered to a no-tablecloth 4-top table where my wife and I had an excellent view of the bar and nothing else. Our dining companions got to see the rest of the patrons. The waiter came and offered us drinks. We ordered 4 glasses of wine which averaged out to about $10 per glass. He brought some delicious fresh baked bread and a small container of olive oil. Good bread usually means a good meal. We each ordered something different. The portions were small but everything was delicious. I had gnocchi for my appetizer, and scallops with squash ravioli for my entre'. Both were very yummy but laden with butter. Not a place to go if you have high cholesterol or triglycerides. They should have brought a bowl of Lipitor out with the meal. Anyhow, the food was way better than average. The service, once they noticed we arrived, was very good. The ambiance was nothing to write home about but was not a dive... it just needs some time to break in. The front door opened right into one of the tables for four and our table backed up to 4 people on bar stools.

The Oracle's recommendation... If you want to try someplace new near downtown Sarasota, with good parking, and you don't mind paying $150 dollars for dinner for 4 without tip, this is a good choice. You would probably come back. Our dinner companions tried to make reservations for 10 days from now on a Saturday night and the only choices for 6 people were 5:30 or 9:00 seatings. They are busy but then again, that's the way it is here in our town, a new place opens up and you can't get in for 6 months. Then, it either makes it and the crowds get smaller as people move on to the next new restaurant and Pomona becomes a standard, or it goes out of business and another place opens up in the same space.

CLEOPATRA, QUEEN OF DENIAL

In medicine we look at a bunch of symptoms, physical findings, lab and x-ray results, and decide if a person is suffering from a particular disease, and then we prescribe treatment based upon what worked in the past in similar if not identical situations.

Fast forward to your own life today. Let's say you come from a large family and some of your close relatives have heart disease, diabetes, or other vascular problems like strokes, dementia, or poor circulation. Medical science has studied these things in great depth and concluded that diet, lifestyle, and exercise or lack thereof, along with stress, obesity, and smoking play a huge role. The expectation would be that an intelligent person would be able to synthesize an opinion as to whether they were "at risk" or not based on heredity and the information that hits us in the face all day everyday on TV, the internet, and every other source. Unless they were in DENIAL. Just like the alcoholic or the drug abuser who says "I don't have a problem" the person who is rushing headlong into Metabolic Syndrome says to him or her self "I don't have a problem" all evidence and the attempts of others to help to the contrary.

Metabolic Syndrome is a "package" of high blood pressure, impending cardiac abnormalities, abnormal insulin response, high cholesterol, and high triglyceride fats in the bloodstream that includes all of the ills of type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease rolled into one. You can SEE IT COMING with basic blood tests and a physical exam. If your blood pressure is creeping up along with your body weight, and your cholesterol and triglycerides are on the rise, and your fasting blood sugar is too...within a few years, you are going to get sick. Like the guy on TV from the Men's Wearhouse says "I guarantee it."

Instead of being in DENIAL, accept these subtle messages from the lab and those physical signs of danger like Sleep Apnea, fatigue, or erectile dysfunction (blood vessel disease). Believe the messenger and DO SOMETHING NOW because once your fasting blood sugar goes above 120 and stays there, you are no longer pre-diabetic, and once you have to start taking every drug that Walgreen's sells for blood pressure, sugar control, ED, and congestive heart failure, it will be incredibly MORE DIFFICULT to regain your health and live a normal and or long life.

As in the rest of our human existence, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Leave De NILE in Egypt and face reality.

I AM NOT SO SURE

The absolute only thing I know for sure is that almost everything I know is either wrong or only right by accident. Anyone with even the slightest sense of history knows that at one time we believed that the Earth was flat, sitting in a wheelchair out in the fresh air with a blanket in your lap at a sanitarium can cure Polio or Tuberculosis, and witchcraft can be stamped out by the judicious use of the ducking stool. As a member of the medical profession, I must conclude that everything we know for sure today will be considered abject BS in a few decades and perhaps, retrospectively, barbaric torture.

There was a time when the term Exploratory Laparotomy was commonplace. This is a surgical procedure in which a surgeon opened up your abdomen with a big incision so he could see if there was anything wrong inside. Today we use MRI or CT scan or at worst laparoscopy through small puncture wounds. Someday in the not too distant future we will have a device that sees inside you without exposure to radiation, and shows details of anatomy almost as clearly as this young lady's dress, which will be interpreted by a computer, a treatment will be recommended and delivered at more or less the same time, and you can go back to playing tennis that afternoon. Alternatively, I don’t know what I am talking about and 100 years from now we will not have made much medical progress but at least everyone will have insurance that covers 100 year old technology.

Getting back to the one thing I am certain about, I desperately argued for a polarized point of view today about young people and how they dress. I was on one side and other family members were on the other and the desperate need came over me to be right and to convince them that they were wrong… for the following 27 reasons. Looking back, not only was I probably wrong, but they probably were too. To add insult to injury, not a single young person on the planet was aware of our discussion nor did they change anything as a result. Hence, wasted energy, or as Shakespeare would say “Much Ado About Nothing.”

Next time you are tempted to pontificate on anything, take a couple of deep breaths, pour yourself a glass of wine, sit in an easy chair, take a sip, close your eyes and visualize George Clooney (for the women) or Katy Perry (for the men) and chilax. I could be wrong about this too, but I am willing to take the chance. Scientific advancement depends on it.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND....

This is the 50th Anniversary of the founding of New College here in Sarasota. This is one of the top rated public colleges in America every year. The school is very competitive and rumor has it that their graduates do well in life. The typical New College Student is "unusual" in manner and appearance, among other things, gender identity being a big one.

Last night at a function at the school campus, I took a trip to find a rest room and entered one of their historic buildings. I scanned for Men, Women, Family or other familiar terms but found only Restroom. There was a short line waiting to get in. The man in front of me had been waiting a while and I struck up a conversation with him by asking whether someone had ascertained if the Restroom were indeed occupied. He said "Yes it was". I remarked on the gender neutral sign and he replied that on campus, the employees often refer to this as "Gender undecided." The implication of this is that many students are not readily identifiable as male, or female, gay, straight, animal, vegetable, mineral, whatever. They are that alternative. We got a taste of that alternativism as we sat in a heated tent surrounded by what looked like the cast of "Twilight" the movie. This gender indecision may be a transient one amongst the student body with an eventual choice being made once the real world was entered and the hallowed halls and bongs of college are left behind. Many of the graduates and present students are gay and lesbian which as Jerry Seinfeld often said "Not that that is a bad thing." I make no judgement on chosen sexuality within this blog post. I am suggesting that if you don't have time to drive to Fantasy Fest in Key West, you can visit this campus.

But then again, who am I to preach conformity. I probably would have fit in great here at New College when I was 17. By fitting in I mean "not fitting in." And that is the whole point. "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and dressed in all black from head to toe and wearing ballet slippers, It has made all the difference.

MORTALITY

I wrote an essay on mortality the other day and sent it to several of my friends my age and a little older. I received a good response and a lot of wisdom. Most stated that they never thought about death as it was inevitable, and thinking about it was a waste of time and life energy that would be better spent "in this moment." Each of us has had loved ones and friends, acquaintances and neighbors who have gone on to the happy hunting ground, Elysian Fields, the underworld, or New Jersey, depending upon your belief system. Wherever, they are no longer physically here. These folks were young and old, chronically ill or suddenly taken, and everywhere in between.

Perhaps my intention in writing the Mortality Essay was misunderstood or I wrote it with too much metaphor and not enough dogma. What I meant to say was something to the effect: We are all going to die sometime and there may or may not be an afterlife so... to play it safe, live for the here and now and don't plan too far into the future because the future many never come and when it does come it won't be what you though it was going to be...so there. I use mortality as the reason to live not something to fear. So with that, I am signing off for today and going out to breathe some fresh air and get some sunshine.

Where is the HAZMAT team?

Two nights ago the "you need gas" light went on in my SUV. The following morning the Kitty had an appointment to get some lab tests and since she had to be fasting she went as early as possible. There was a window of opportunity for us to have breakfast together between the lab and the ground-up restoration she had scheduled at the salon at 9. I left the house and planned to stop at our local Shell station to gas-up. I pulled in, swiped my credit card and began pumping, with the nozzle on automatic... with the presumption that it would shut itself off when the tank was full. I stood nearby to the rear of the fuel filler door. Unfortunately, either the car or the pump did not do what it was supposed to and gas poured out of the tank onto my shoes.

I tried to reach the Kitty as we had planned to meet at a cafe next to her salon. I could not reach her so I felt it was best to press on to the meeting place with all the windows open and my shoes off and in a bag. The gas smell was awful. At that hour in the morning, I have to pass through a school zone to reach my destination. Everyone slows down to 15 mph...except for this morning when there was some woman on the side of the road with a hand-lettered sign that said "Radar Today." Of course, everyone went 5 mph and I had to sit there in fumes for longer. To add insult to injury, landscapers on both sides of the road were blowing grass clippings and dust into the road and into my open windows...and nostrils.

I reached the cafe but bailed out quickly and after inhaling a muffin and some water, I drove to the Mercedes dealer. They told me it was not the fault of the car. I asked if they would at least detail my car for me which they quickly did...and give me a better bag for my shoes, which they did. I drove home in virtually no smell (some residual from underneath the car since there was so much spillage) and made the command decision to throw away my shoes, and put my clothes in the washer and took a shower. I left my car in the driveway with the windows all open.

I forgot to tell you the best part of all of this. As I was watching raw gas pool around my feet before I could shut off the pump, I noted some derelict standing at the front bumper of my car smoking a cigarette. I looked at him about to tell him to get the Hell away while I was pumping gas. He beat me too it and said..."Hey man, gas is pouring out of your car."

All is well and what does not kill you or makes you go up in flames like a buddhist monk, makes you stronger. Anyhow, the lesson I have learned is that if at all possible, don't trust that automatic shutoff in gas pumps. And don't fill you tank all the way. This is an event I will not forget as I was very close to tragedy...gas on a hot muffler, smoking dude about 6 feet away, and standing in a puddle of High Test. Fortunately all it cost me was a pair of my favorite shoes and a couple of lost hours. I got a clean car, and an important lesson in life.

Happy Birthday, Dear ORACLE

The ORACLE had a birthday last week... And my daughter threw a little party for me...family only. This shows the care and attention she paid to the table settings. The food was great, there was a fair amount of fermented grape juice, and entertainment by the "singing babettes." I will report on the food in my next post.

HE WHO LIVES BY THE SWORD...

Dies by the sword. No, folks, this is not advocating violence, it is an old saying that means "If you use a certain tactic (weapon) expect that it may be used against you." Federal Judge comes to mind. Remember how a judge overturned the will of the people in California a while back when they voted to define marriage as between a man and a woman, for example? The cheers from the left were deafening. Yesterday, a Federal Judge in Pensacola Florida ruled that the part of the Obama Health Care Plan that forced people to buy insurance was unconstitutional and not severable (meaning you just can't eliminate that part and the rest is OK). Consequently, the ENTIRE health plan is unconstitutional. Predictably the left whined like babies and called the action of the judge "political" and mean spirited. All judges are equal, it's just that some are more equal than others (Animal Farm reference). To those of us out there who are appalled by this decision, remember that the sword of which I spoke above cuts both ways. Ideally, the Constitution "is what it is" and all well educated judges would come to the same conclusion on the same subject. Practically, they rule all over the place and sooner or later (sooner hopefully) this case will come before the U S Supreme Court where it will be decided in a 5-4 decision one way of the other. If the high court decides that Congress can use the commerce clause for any and every whim of theirs, be prepared, as one judge put it " to be forced to buy and eat Broccoli."

SO IT IS WRITTEN

So it shall be done. The words of Yul Brenner as Pharaoh...oft repeated. Here we have another country that lead the world "back in the day" with science, and medicine. It is rumored that the process they invented to preserve mummies is used in Twinkies and Little Debbie cakes today so that their shelf life is infinite. Anyway, as I was saying, this is one of the greatest civilizations on the planet and it is reduced to street rabble marching on their museum of antiquities and tearing the head off King Tut. This reminds me of our founding with the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence and such and our present day "Jay Walking" Tonight Show interviews of average Americans. All civilizations I guess are destined to collapse when ignorance becomes pervasive and intelligence and achievement become suspect.

One thing I am certain of in the present Egyptian Crisis is that our government will back the wrong side. We backed Mao in China as the great agrarian reformer. We supported Fidel Castro as "the Robin Hood of the Caribbean." We not only let the Shah of Iran get kicked out but in the ensuing power vacuum, we sat idly by and watched the Ayatollahs abscond with the country. So now, we have to deal with Amanutjob. There is something in the American psyche that feels the need to export democracy to the whole world even if the inhabitants of a particular country are living in caves and worshiping goats. Free elections for all. Dictators are all bad. But then again...have you heard that our president wants to have the power to turn off our internet in a crisis?

I was asked by some of my loyal readers to opine on this issue and other current ones (presumably the health care bill). My opinion in a nutshell is that unless the Egyptian Army takes over the country and eventually transitions to a civilian government, the Muslim Brotherhood will seize power and another Iran will be created. 70% of the Egyptian population believes Sharia law should be the law of the land. On the other hand, the Army is religiously neutral and would be the best chance for a more secular society. Promises of some money from the US would be helpful. It would be better spent before we have to fight another war. It costs us more in a week in Afghanistan than it would cost to infuse some front loaded cash into their society because people are less likely to riot if their bellies are full.

Speaking of Afghanistan, if Egypt becomes another state controlled by Hamas, Hezbollah, or the Brotherhood, we might as well PULL OUT of Afghanistan because our erstwhile reason for being there is to defeat AlQuaida. If Egypt falls, every country in North Africa except Israel will be training jihadists and we might as well bring our troops home.

TREND SETTER

Hollywood sets the trends for the rest of us. Whatever they do, so eventually do we follow. When the Kitty and I go to our next black tie event and the Photographer comes over to take our picture so we can appear in SRQ or Sarasota Magazine...just as the shutter clicks, I'm going to channel my inner Brad.

I'm WILD about FLOWERS

And why are you anxious about what to wear? Consider the
lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they
spin. And yet I say to you, that even Solomon in all his glory
is not arrayed like one of these.

- Matthew 6:28-29

Sure, these are not Lilies, but you get the point. We spend our days trying to outshine one another. Perhaps, this is a natural thing...witness the peacock and tropical fish vying for the attention of the female. 'Tis the time of year when all the spring catalogs are coming to the Casa de Kitty. Saks, Niemans, Nordstrom, LL Bean...well maybe the last one is for me. She is not one for flannel even if it has sequins.

The latest offerings from Ralph Lauren include "Bohemian Chic." Women are encouraged to spend vast amounts of money buying clothes that the real Bohemians get at second hand stores for pennines on the dollar. I wonder what will happen when these new and expensive "Boho" clothes are brought to Goodwill after they are no longer stylish...will real Bohemians buy them? Or wear them?

Speaking of that, a great place to wear your new Ralph Lauren faux-bohemian ensembles would be at the opening performance of La Boheme at the Sarasota Opera. Kind of reminds me of Lou Gehrig dying of Lou Gehrig's disease.. What are the chances? For, as you know, La Boheme means "the Bohemian" in French.

And finally a little something by William Blake:

To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.