YOUR government at "work"?

Regular readers know that I am no "fan" of the mostly left leaning New York Times. So when an article appeared in this Sunday's business section entitled "A Sure but Elusive Cure, Economic Growth" it nearly blew me out of my socks (if I wore socks.) The author states that there are several "ways" of solving the National Debt..."reduce spending (ouch), raise taxes (yuck), let inflation run (gasp), or default (thud)." She goes on to say "we wouldn't need any of that if we could restore economic growth."

SURE, how do you do that when the government gets in the way of growth and success at every turn. We cannot compete with the rest of the world because of the ridiculous costs of doing business in America and the constraints we place upon ourselves that make us uncompetitive. What are those you ask? How about we are sitting on the world's greatest supply of coal and natural gas and a whole lot of our own oil and we can't use it because of federal regulations. Carbon credits? Corporate average fuel economy (CAFE) standards? The crap the administration pulled with National Labor Relations board that kept Boeing from building a factory in South Carolina? What the HELL is wrong with this administration? We are operating with a blindfold on and one hand (at least) tied behind our back.

Once this KAbuki Theater of a debt ceiling deal is over, it is time to think about geting back in the game and instead of cutting spending and raising taxes how about doing what the NEW YORK TIMES suggests... increase our economic output. How are we going to do that? Tell the government to get out of the way.

CONGRESS is in SESSION

ACK of the DAY

I wonder what he or she does for a living in Nantucket?

NANTUCKET LOVES UNUSUAL CARS

FLIP SIDE

MOUNT RUSHMORE AS SEEN FROM THE CANADIAN SIDE.

Nantucket COMEDY Festival

Boxing rings and comedy are not usually associated but it was the theme chosen for this years comedy competition billed as a SmACKdown. New York comics and others from Boston competed against one another for who is funniest. It was judged rather than voted upon by the audience. One of the judges was Lewis Black, the famous comedian who appeared the night before in a stand-up show here.

Everything in Nantucket has to have the word ACK in it, maybe it's the law. smACKdown is one of these. The recipient of the festival's profits go to ProjACK Comedy. I think if a person started to have chest pain and had to go the the Cottage hospital, you would be admitted with a "possible heart attACK."

The event was held in a tent and in the center, "in the round" except it was square, was a Boxing ring, and each comedian showed up wearing a boxing robe and there were ring announcers and all the trappings of a boxing match. The comedians were humorously disrespectful of the mostly white wealthy audience whom one referred to as "Milfs and hedge-fund douchebags." Nobody got a free ride. There was a funny routine about the few "Afro-americans (no wait, that sounds too much like a hairstyle) what do we call you today? in the audience. By going to a comedy show, you tacitly agree to be abused in some way or another. One line that got a good laugh was " Being gay is not a choice, being flaming is." So, nobody got left out...Latinos, or latinas, chicanos, hispanics, spaniards, and why nobody in South America "ever" spoke latin so WTF? Speaking of "F" there was a lot of that word in all of its forms.

The comedy festival was generally worth attending even in a dutch oven tent on the beach. Most of the comedians were very funny. For some unknown reason they had this kid as an opening act one night. I would ordinarily be kind and gentle in my comments about his performance but he "sucked" and had no reason to be among professional high-quality comics. If he anticipates becoming a professional comedian, he's better get used to having stuff thrown at him and getting heckled by the crowd. The Nantucket audience of Muffys and Biffs patiently sat through his schtick. In New York he would have gotten the "hook."

PROGRESSIVE (not the insurance company)

Philosophy does not mean much in today’s youth oriented culture. In fact, I doubt you can get one in ten high school students to even define the word. It was, however, important in my educational process back when dinosaurs ruled the earth.

FRIEDRICH HAYEK (no relation to the luscious Salma) wrote The Road to Serfdom in the early 1940s. It reached a wide audience, considering it was a "philosophy" book, because it was serialized in the popular Reader’s Digest. Hayek was a frequent guest of Ronald Reagan at the White House and was considered influential to the President’s political thought. He also helped turn Chile (South America) into a free market economy by taking an official position under Pinochet. His writings also profoundly influenced Margaret Thatcher of Great Britain, also known as England, on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, for all you current high school students. Though he was against “Conservatism” in it’s old stuffy definition, and was a classical free market liberal (with a little "L") he approved of modern day conservatism though he preferred the word liberal. And when he used the word liberal it was the real liberal not that socialist (BIG “L”) liberalism that is not liberal but believes in formulaic big government tax and spend . The Big L liberal is what we see today self described as "Progressives." He earned (unlike our President , the PEACE Laureate who got the prize 15 minutes after he took office never having done a damn thing to earn it) the Nobel Prize in Economics. His influence remains after his death, particularly at the London School of Economics, and The University of Chicago. His theories are integral to modern day liberal Conservatism so long as it is not of the stodgy “old school” rigid persuasion Reactionary "lets keep everything as it is" Conservatism. Liberalism today (progressives) are not liberal at all and have an official dogma. If you are a non believer in the party line, you are, in their view, either stupid, or a racist. Or a stupid racist. It is amusing to watch Liberalism in action. They went back to their old early 20th century term, Progressive, and re-branded because people wised up and were getting tired of hearing the same old Liberal redistribution welfare state crap and could not help but notice it's complete intolerance or anything they disagree with, hence "anything but LIBERAL.".

I know this is all confusing but all you have to remember is that Liberals, with a big "L" are not liberal at all nor are they progressive unless you think rehashing old soviet ideas of wealth redistribution is progress. Conservatives are liberal in their thought unless they get mired in the "no change" trap. SO that's it, Conservatives are liberal, but Liberals are not progressive even though that's the name they have given themselves...again.

JAPANESE CAR, OBVIOUSLY

SPELLING MAY BE A LITTLE OFF, PROMPTED BY THE SEVEN CHARACTER RULE FOR LICENSE PLATES, but I get the message. Sayonara as in "SEEYA" when he blows by you in traffic.

I thought DINOSAURS WERE EXTINCT

UNITED STATES Congressman from Washington State, Jim McDermot was on MSNBC this morning. That's right, I was watching MSNBC to get the other side of the story from what FOX is reporting. No liberal would do this in reverse because they are all a pack of phonies claiming the "intellectual" high ground and lack of bias when they are in reality lock step fanatics of the religion of Liberalism, the only way smart people could possibly think (but enough Kumbaya for now). This pompous a-hole was pontificating about "the Kids playing with dynamite in the schoolyard", referring to the newly elected Republican members of Congress (rode in on TEA PARTY return to fiscal sanity tide). He proudly announced that he has been in Congress since 1980 and has helped to pass 39 Debt limit INCREASES. How out-of- touch with reality could a person be? Proud of a record like that? It would be like telling your friends that you have 10 credit cards maxed out to the limit and you are paying the minimum on each one to keep your good credit but that you are paying 29% interest on each one too and the interest has mounted to a million dollars. It's WORKING though...So far So good.

I would like to see us pass something so we don't default on our loans to people who hate us like China and the Oil producing countries who hold much of our 14 trillion dollar debt that this clown and his ilk slowly created by 39 extensions of our debt limit rather than controlling spending. The arrogance of these old dinosaurs who have been in CONGRESS since the days of George Washington, who want business as usual despite the landslide of the last congressional election is mind boggling not to mention nausea inducing.

By the way, the MSNBS woman who was interviewing him threw him softball after softball and never even once challenged him as to his abysmal record of fiscal restraint. On FOX, O'reilly and Greta Van Sustern frequently pin down Republicans when something stinks and reminds them of their prior records and inconsistencies. Hannity not so much, but though there is a right leaning perspective, it is not STATION POLICY to be lock step Conservative unlike on MSNBC where they are ALL cheerleaders for the President and liberal politicians. Pass the Kool Aid.

EMPLOYING the UNEMPLOYABLE

EMPLOYERS looking to hire are not anxious to choose their new employees from the ranks of the unemployed if they can hire someone away from another employer. And this is a vicious circle (cycle) that perpetuates itself. Your GOVERNMENT will be stepping in any day now to make this practice illegal. There is already a $1000 fine if you consider an employed person to hire over an unemployed person in New Jersey.

Other than bad luck and the economy, are there other reasons why some people are unemployed for as long as 2 years and receiving benefits? Is it possible that some people just suck at what they do and lose their jobs first in a downturn because of their lack of value to their former employer? Then there's the data that proves that if you are out of work for an extended period of time and stay at home watching the "soaps" whether on worker's compensation or unemployment, you NEVER get back into the "working for a living" ethic.

Let me tell you an Army story about a doctor that worked in a stateside military orthopedic clinic back years ago during the Asian war. Everyone in the clinic was pulling his weight and seeing hundreds of patients per week, except one guy who was a former professor of hand surgery prior to being drafted (we no longer have the draft.) He took his sweet time and only picked his favorite cases and saw about 20% of the workload the rest of us did. One day, the hospital commander strolled through the clinic and asked the chief if he could spare one of us to send to Vietnam where they were in need of surgeons. Without hesitation, the professor had to pack his bags and stock up on mosquito repellent. He never carried his share of the load and wound up getting the military equivalent of being fired. I am sure it happens every day in corporate America. Sure, being laid off or fired may not be the employees fault. And, he may be a wonderful future employee (or not). But, shouldn't that be the decision of the future employer and not the F'ing government? Where do we live anyway, the Soviet Union?

GOVERNMENT has TOO MUCH POWER

A friend of mine sent me this article from the Sarasota newspaper. He knows that I am active in Prescription Drug Diversion Investigation back in Florida and am interested in these kinds of articles. The article concerns a piece of legislation that was passed a few years ago in Florida that made it a crime to possess illicit drugs even if you did not know you had them. For example, some "friend" might put his dope in your luggage and it gets found by law enforcement and you get charged and probably convicted under the law described in this article.

Both of my children are lawyers and I have spent countless hours in the presence of other lawyers and law enforcement. I know that one of the major elements of any crime is Mens Rea or the "intent" to commit a crime. It is an ABOMINATION for the bright-bulbs in our state legislature to have passed a law that makes it a crime to UNknowingly have contraband in your luggage or on your property. Then again, when you watch TV enough, such as during this Debt Crisis debate, you realize that intelligence is not a pre-requisite for getting elected to office. As a result, thousands of cases will have to be retried now that this LAW has been declared (what took them so long) unconstitutional. Of course, this colossal waste of time and resources not to mention the incarceration of the innocent, will never be linked back to those who caused the problem, by name, and their job security will never be in jeopardy. Imagine that your "kid" is serving time because his or her friend thought upon seeing flashing lights in the rear view mirror, it would be a good idea to ditch his weed in your kids jacket/purse/gym bag etc. When Will Rogers said "be thankful you don't get all the government you pay for" he was not 100% correct. Sometimes we get WAY TOO MUCH government.

ACK of the DAY

This has to be the 5th place among all the competitive ACK license plates on the island. ACK 3,2,1 and of course ACK standing alone on a Massachusetts plate being the only ones "better." I saw some more interesting ones yesterday but they were not in range to be photographed. Several of them had initials and ACK...for example ACK JFK.

CLASSIC CARS IN NANTUCKET

"My stuff is OLDER than your stuff" seems to be rampant in Nantucket. From the clothes ( this is an original Murray's Nantucket Red shirt from the 1960s) to Handbags (Whaling Lighthouse Basket made by Ramos) to houses (my house was built in 1863 and smells like it) to cars like this vintage JEEP, the natives here take great pride in owning things until they disintegrate into dust. Admittedly they do keep their treasures clean and polished.

I wrote last year about buying a bicycle and the feedback I got about how it should not cost too much or look too new and that rust and patina were important. The same goes for polo shirts. If your color is bright and your collar has perfect corners, you are out of style. Then there's the logo. Never bigger than a nickel. If you have one of those TOMMY HILLFIGER shirts with the name running around your chest and onto your back... go to Martha's Vineyard. Right away. Even if it says NANTUCKET, the name should not be big enough to read without reading glasses. Preferably it should be a small yacht club burgee flag about the size of a congressional lapel pin. As for which yacht club... The vintage New York Yacht Club is wonderful. Island based clubs have a pecking order but I will not go into that as Oxen will be gored. Anything where you have to go through an admission process and prove that your great great grandfather actually harpooned a whale, is the best.

DRESSING UP IN NANTUCKET

The Comedy Festival is in progress. Last night we saw Lewis Black who was amazingly funny if you don't mind the F,S,P, or any other lettered words. The Kitty had attended a Women in Comedy event the night before and came home to tell me that everyone got "decked out" which in my mind meant "people are getting more dressed up for this festival than the film festival last month." So for Lewis Black the Oracle put on his fruity Nantucket Red pants, a Vineyard Vines Shirt and a Seersucker blazer from Brooks Brothers. The Event was in an unairconditioned tent at the beach and even though it was 68 degrees outside, it was 88 degrees inside.

Like Lucy in the Peanuts cartoon, the Kitty gave me a bum steer once again and I fell for it. The average Joe and some Janes for that matter were wearing jeans, an untucked shirt, and flip flops. NEVER AGAIN. Even if it means I get stopped at the door somewhere sometime in the future and told "No JEANS allowed" I will now and forever wear nothing but the Beach Boy look, or the New England style (another name for the same thing) pictured above. As for the seersucker or other blazer? When there is frost on the ground.

The TAVERN

Right down at the docks where the HyLine ferry arrives there is a restaurant with a nice outdoor seating area. Despite the gangbuster tourist business they do, they retain their friendliness and good service.

Tonight, Thelma and Louise (The Kitty and Jennie) had an event to attend and I was left to dine on my own. I drove around a little, then parked in my own driveway and walked a few blocks into town. Out of all the places I could have had my all-American meal of a cheese burger, fries and a tall cold draught beer I picked the TAVERN. I had a table for one outside right on the perimeter of the plaza. The people watching opportunities were excellent and the food was EXACTLY what I wanted. The prices were reasonable. The burger was under $10, $2 more with the fries. The Oracle gives it a solid 9/10. Better than the touristy location would suggest.

RUN IT OFF

Back when I was playing football, any time someone got an injury where the bone wasn’t sticking through the skin, the advice from the coach was RUN IT OFF, which meant something like “KISS the BOO BOO” only you did it yourself by running around until the pain went away. Surprisingly it worked most of the time, including for concussions. I got a healthy respect for the human body’s ability to heal itself and for this primitive form of physical therapy. We did not have a team doctor, or a sports nutritionist, and no physical therapist. The “trainer” was self taught mostly and had hot packs, ice packs, and ace bandages. Admittedly we had very few 300 pound players who could run like sprinters but we also had very little equipment. My first helmet had a somewhat flexible plastic shell and no face guard. I never had a mouth guard. (Want to count my teeth?) Even the last helmet I used in the early 70s only had a double plastic bar across the face and some air filled padding here and there inside. To quote Paul Simon, “It’s a wonder I can think at all.”

George Bernard SHAW

This is the true joy of life.
The being used for a purpose
Recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
The being a force of nature
Instead of a feverish, selfish
Little clod of ailments and grievances
Complaining that the world will not
Devote itself to making you happy.
I am of the opinion that my life
Belongs to the whole community
And as long as I live,
It is my privilege to do for it
Whatever I can.
I want to be thoroughly
Used up when I die,
For the harder I work the more I live.
I rejoice in life for its own sake.
Life is no brief candle to me.
It is a sort of splendid torch
Which I've got hold of
For the moment
And I want to make it burn
As brightly as possible before
Handling it on to future generations.

IMPERIAL PRESIDENCY

Who wouldn't want to give a brother a chance. He seemed like such a smart guy, and well educated, and those speeches, they were amazing. No wonder he garnered so many votes. Clearly far more white people voted for the half-black guy than black folks voted for the old white war hero. Racism for most of us was not and still is not an issue. If this were a generally racist country as some demagogs claim, and only 13% of us are black, how could he have won so solidly?

Reelecting the guy on whose watch the unemployment rate grew to over 9 % and who upped the debt by a few trillion dollars in only 2 years does seem about as wise as getting an STD from the same person at the same bar two weeks in a row, intellectually speaking. Or to put it in terms our president used... Special Olympic reasoning quality.

OLD ADAGES

Refuse to be intimidated by the adage, "Anything worth doing is worth doing well." This is one of the most ridiculous statements ever made. The truth is, most things worth doing aren't worth your best efforts. There are just a few really important things that are worth doing well. After that, a greater number of things are worth doing adequately. Even more things are worth doing in the most haphazard fashion possible just to get by. Of course, most things aren't worth doing at all, best left for the misfits of this world to pursue.

REMOTELY Possible

The Kitty and I had breakfast this morning at North Beach Manor, our home away from home in NANTUCKET. Following breakfast we turned on TV in the hopes of watching something entertaining. The news shows dominated the airways...with CNN and FOX being the leaders of the pack. Amy Winehouse and 4 star General Shalikashvili are still dead, Gay couples queued up by the hundreds in New York City to get married, and leading the hit parade of crap I wish I did not see was Congress dithering over the Debt Ceiling. "Oh, what should we do about it?" like a couple of grade school children arguing over who is the bigger poopie-head.

Well, truth be told, they are all a bunch of poopie-heads and they hold our economic lives (among other stuff) in the palms of their greedy hands. I tried to watch for a bit but just couldn't do it. I reached for the ONLY WEAPON I have against this army of incompetents and that is my REMOTE CONTROL. I pushed the RED button on top which is marked ALL ON but also works as ALL OFF. The feeling of POWER was amazing. They're ON, they're OFF, they're ON, they're OFF.. Outstanding. MUTE WORKS PRETTY WELL TOO, unless one of the Democrat women is on the screen in which case pulling the PLUG out of the wall is your only hope.

LIMITLESS the MOVIE

Aspiring author Eddie Morra is suffering from chronic writer's block, but his life changes instantly when an old friend introduces him to NZT, a revolutionary new pharmaceutical that allows him to tap his full potential. Bradley Cooper, the actor who plays the leading role does a very good job. Robert DeNiro is in the movie as well and plays a Gordon Gecko type character. You will enjoy the movie if you can adjust to the slightly sci-fi nature of the drug that Eddie takes.

FOR MY LATINO FRIENDS

MY GOOD FRIEND, it's been a year

I miss my good friend, Bob, who died a year ago. I am sure that I am going to inadvertently violate some Jewish tradition or write something that is absolutely wrong but my heart is in the right place so apologies in advance. Every religion has traditions concerning death and remembrance. Briefly, my understanding is that the following ceremonies are accepted practice.

Shneim asar chodesh – Twelve months

Those mourning may observe a twelve-month period counted from the day of death. During this period, most activity returns to normal, although the mourners continue to recite the mourner's kaddish as part of synagogue services for eleven months. In Orthodox tradition, this was an obligation of the sons as mourners, not for women. There remain restrictions on attending festive occasions and large gatherings, especially where live music is played.

A headstone (tombstone) is known as a matzevah ("monument"). Although there is no Halakhic obligation to hold an unveiling ceremony, the ritual became popular in many communities toward the end of the 19th century. There are varying customs about when it should be placed on the grave. Most communities have an unveiling ceremony within a year after the death.

At the end of the ceremony, a cloth or shroud covering that has been placed on the headstone is removed, customarily by close family members. The service may include a brief eulogy for the deceased.

It has been a year and though I can forget where I put my keys, or parked my car, I will never forget my friend Bob. I am having my own goyeshe version of a memorial tomorrow. There will be music and drinking fine wine and eating 5 meals on that day. And there will be cake.

NIGHTMARE on Calle Ocho

Debbie Wasserman Schultz, is the U S Representative for Florida's 20th Congressional District which includes parts of Broward and Miami-Dade counties and the cities of Fort Lauderdale and Miami Beach. AND she is the chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee.

A congressman or woman usually reflects his or her constituency's values, otherwise they would be be elected. The fact that this HARPY (see Greek Mythology) is the highly visible "face and voice" of the Democratic party should be enough to drive anyone but the most unthinking liberal into either not voting at all or voting Republican. Fingernails on a chalkboard comes to mind. She can be seen on FOX for their "2 minutes of hate" segment (see Orwell's 1984) and 24/7 on MSNBC. No need to go to the movies to see Halloween 1-2-3-4 etc, or anything by Stephen King, just turn on (P)MSNBC where you can get the crap scared out of you for free listening to the beliefs of this IDIOT and by extension the group she represents, today's Democratic Party. If you think Sarah Palin rides the short bus, you ain't seen nothing yet until you see Debbie spout her vitriol mixed with abject stupidity. There are some wonderful hard working folks out there who traditionally vote Democrat. If you are one of these, turn your TV to the Wasserman channel and have an emesis basin handy. This is NOT the Democrat party you think you belong to.

The KITTY went to the BALLET

I would do almost anything for the Kitty. In fact, the only exception I can think of is going to the BALLET. When I was in medical school, the father of one of the other medical students was the "team doctor" for the New York City Ballet. Several of us had the chance to be assistants and help to treat the performers. Mostly the problems were feet, specifically toes. Even at a young age, the amount of degenerative arthritis and deformity was severe. Most of them had been dancing on point since they were children. On top of this, the majority of the dancers were intellectually dull, having managed to avoid any real education while practicing for hours and hours to rise to the top of this competitive business. Then there was the poverty, and the starvation. Couple that with the fact that I think the whole thing is "Fruity" and I don't enjoy the mandatory "steps" that comprise the dance (as in ice skating or gymnastics) I just couldn't do it. I stayed home and the Kitty went to the Ballet.

When I get a "boy's night IN", I often will watch a movie that she would not watch, especially more than once. Just as my kids watched Ferris Beuler's Day Off, or the grand kids watch Dora the Explorer, I can watch some films over and over and over. Heartbreak Ridge is one of these. I was in the mood for something a little more "spiritual" and I turned on The BUCKET LIST. If you have not seen it (like the Geico ad says) you must be living under a rock. Anyhow, if you have not seen it, I highly recommend it on both a personal growth level and for pure entertainment. Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson co-star in this scenic and touching masterpiece. I don't want to spoil it for you. Just find it on ION or one of those channels where they show old but not ancient movies.

ADIOS AMY WINEHOUSE

27 year old drug addled singer who was celebrated for her lifestyle of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, checked out today. The phonies in Hollywood and the music business have written their mini-eulogies but were not there for her during her lifetime to perhaps try to give her a longer life and career entertaining her fans. Talent is no safeguard against tragedy. I personally did not like her music, her schtick, or her look but that is just personal taste. She appealed to other stoners of whom there are many. Life and death are apparently not concerns in their culture and therefore no lessons are expected here. Her act and her stage persona screamed DRUGS. Another self-fulfilling prophesy come to fruition.

STRAIGHT WHARF RESTAURANT

NOT cheap, and a little hot and noisy, but SO FAR, the BEST food on Nantucket, and we have experienced 40 restaurants. When we came out of the restaurant which was mostly mature people we exited out onto a plaza that is surrounded by the Straight Wharf to the south, the Tavern to the north, and a round outdoor bar in the middle. There were hundreds of 20 somethings. The women were all decked out and the average guy was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Can you say "MEAT MARKET?"

This is a photo taken with a light and an iPhone of my delicious SCALLOP dish.

RED RESTORED and READY to RIDE

PEANUT BUTTER and JELLY

NO TWO WORDS go together like JEEP and ACK (Nantucket). I took a couple of photos of a really nice vintage CJ JEEP Wrangler today. They are in the next Post.

TRIATHLON in JULY

What the heck, why not tie up traffic everywhere in town on a Saturday during the busiest tourist season, July. It is the hottest day in the past 2 months. I guess Mother NATURE isn't a fan either. This could have been so much more fun for everyone if it had been done in late August or early September. Note the temperatures for the rest of the week.

EVENTUALLY.....

GREED IS NOT GOOD

Perfect Storm of greedy home flippers and Joe Sixpack hoping to get rich quick by getting equity out of thin air, and bankers paid by the deal. Couple this with a backdrop of politically correct politicians passing laws that make it almost illegal to not give any deadbeat a mortgage, job or no job with a FICO score as low as their IQ. LOOK where it got us. And yet we probably have learned nothing from it.

BUSINESS is BUSINESS

MOBSTERS everywhere understand that personal feelings can never get in the way of business. When they "whack" someone it is totally dispassionate. My instincts have always been a little less "business" than personal. I get wrapped up in the dynamics of friendship and often "forgive" the transgressions of others. They forgive mine as well. In affairs of the heart and soul this works. In affairs of money and business, the ancient Hebrew and Babylonian civilizations and King Solomon himself felt the need to codify how to deal with money and property and invented concepts we still use today like "treble damages."

To do less than seek just compensation in those cultures was considered uncivilized. As you can see by some of my recent blogs, I have come to the end of my rope with forgive and forget when it comes to economic wrongs. The excuse that it is all due to Washington DC and their failure to supervise is BS. The problem is greed and avarice and the fever to make money by riding the gravy-train-de-jour...the housing bubble, the tech bubble, or any other get rich quick scheme such as the ones in which bankers lent money for mortgages with their eyes closed because of profits and their salaries and bonuses. Sure we can pile on Sen Dodd and Congressman Frank, and the Community Redevelopment Act but the rubber-meets-the-road at the loan desk of your local banker. In my case, as a share holder of more than one bank in my lifetime, I can see that in this last venture someone had dollar signs where the pupils of their eyes should have been. Accountability has to factor in there somewhere. Unfortunately, what will probably happen is the folks who screwed-the-pooch in this most recent collapsed investment will probably be back in the game in another bank before the ink is dry on the FDIC order.

HEY CONGRESS..here's your solution right here

DECLARE VICTORY, and bring ALL the troops home from EVERYWHERE in the world. Immediately. So as not to cause a rapid rise in unemployment, have them all go to Arizona, New Mexico, Southern california, and Texas to guard our border. The Debt will disappear overnight and all those unappreciative countries out there can fend for themselves. AND cease ALL FOREIGN AID TO EVERYONE. Done. Now, how hard was that?

OLD can be BETTER

The Code of Hammurabi is a well-preserved Babylonian law code, dating to ca. 1700 BC . It is one of the oldest deciphered writings of significant length in the world. The sixth Babylonian king, Hammurabi, enacted the code, and partial copies exist on a human-sized stone and various clay tablets. The Code consists of 282 laws, with scaled punishments, adjusting "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" as graded depending on social status, of slave versus free man.

Nearly one-half of the Code deals with matters of contract, establishing for example the wages to be paid to ox driver or a surgeon. Other provisions set the terms of a transaction, establishing the liability of a builder for a house that collapses, for example, or property that is damaged while left in the care of another. Approximately a third of the code addresses issues concerning household and family relationships such as inheritance, divorce, paternity and sexual behavior. One provision appears to impose obligations on an official; this provision establishes that a judge who reaches an incorrect decision is to be fined and removed from the bench permanently.

When is it time to SUE the BASTARDS?

Litigation is generally not for me unless I am testifying as an expert. Over my lifetime I have been cheated out of money and other forms of treasury by careless or unscrupulous people who expect that it would be my nature to just forgive and forget. It's time to call Denny Crane, Shyster.

Years ago I bought a ticket to a raffle in support of a local charity. We went to the Black Tie affair where the drawing occurred and Shazam! We won the grand prize, a trip to the Far East. About a week later I got a call from the president of the organization who started blowing smoke up my you-know-where and told me that he was thankful that I had won because if it had been anyone else "this" would be a real problem. I asked him what he meant by "this" and he said that they did not have the money to pay for the grand prize and that in reality I had won BUPKIS. Since it was a charity and I did not wish to cause them any hardship I "ATE" the loss. Not long after I found out that they had enough money to pay a 5 figure salary to the person who organized the events and there was no question in their minds that she would be paid in full. Me, not so much. I never pursued this further.

Now that I am older, wiser, less interested in "playing well with others" and with two children who are both lawyers, especially my son, Sharkey, the Pit-Bull, I don't think I would be so understanding this time around. Taking the "moral high ground" may not be turning the other cheek as I had once thought. Perhaps it is holding people responsible when they screw you so that perhaps others will benefit from the lesson and I can be (this goes back to the Code of Hammurabi and ancient Hebrew Law as well) made whole.

KING OBAMA The FIRST

We are in the middle of a debt crisis. The president has apparently not read the Constitution lately. He seems to believe that he is the KING and that the Congress is just an inconvenience. He tends to talk down to Leaders of other countries, but nothing like what he said yesterday when he "Ordered" representatives from Congress to appear in his presence at the White House this morning. He really showed his Ass on this one. can you say POMPOUS and full of himself?

ALWAYS ROOM FOR....

Philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The students laughed. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. "Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life.”

The rocks are the important things - your family, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks.” The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that really matter.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to exercise. Take your wife out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. "Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

But then...

A student took the jar, which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.

The moral of this tale is: “No matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER.”

GRASSHOPPER

Master Po: [after easily defeating the boy in combat] Ha, ha, never assume because a man has no eyes he cannot see. Close your eyes. What do you hear?

Young Caine: I hear the water, I hear the birds.

Master Po: Do you hear your own heartbeat?

Young Caine: No.

Master Po: Do you hear the grasshopper that is at your feet?

Young Caine: [looking down and seeing the insect] Old man, how is it that you hear these things?

Master Po: Young man, how is it that you do not?

THERE IS AN OLD STORY about the mother who is invited to her son's apartment to meet his prospective fiance. She spends the evening being sociable with three women who sat on his sofa. At the end of the evening, the women leave and the son asks his mother "I am going to marry one of those women. Which one do you think I have chosen?" She replies "The one in the middle." The son is astonished and says "How did you know she was the one?" Mom answers "Because I didn't like her."

The KITTY usually has a sixth sense about these things. I can do all the research and homework and make pro and con lists and she talks to someone for 5 minutes and says "I don't trust him." From now on, I won't even bother looking at the balance sheet of anything, I will just order a CAT scan, in other words, I will introduce him to the KITTY. I may be the Grasshopper, but she is Master PURR.

Another SARASOTA Landmark

The oracle owned some shares in this obviously poorly managed bank. When federal regulators take over a bank it is not because there are not enough pens in the lobby. They made loans to people who, if you shook their hand, would prompt you to check to see if your watch and ring were still there. Non-performing loans to non-performing people.

So like the guy who learned "if it flies, floats or etc...lease it" I picked up another lesson from all this. The best investment is an investment in yourself and your own business. Sure, I continue to invest in stocks and bonds in companies that are publicly traded that seem to produce income and appreciation (not that that is not a con-game in its own right). If you have a fly-by-night scheme to do anything, and need capital to get it off the ground...give me a call. My number is 555-......

In this era of no-accountability and moral relativism, maybe this deserves a lawsuit against the officers and board of the bank who clearly exercised poor judgement (maybe even wild and reckless disregard for sound banking principles) and lost investors' money. They probably have insurance for that sort of thing. I am going to ask my family attorney, Sharkey.

ACK of the DAY

VENTUNO (21) Restaurant

Located at 21 Federal Street, hence the name, we took a chance on this restaurant in an old historical building that was occupied by another establishment, 21 Federal last year. They went out of business which should be a hint. Go to Ventuno this year because it may not be here next year. We went with friends, the male half of whom is an excellent chef, a former fine restaurant waiter, and knows his way around the gourmet section of a grocery store. He and she liked it. The Kitty and I thought the theme and menu were pretentious and the portions miniscule. The service was excellent and attentive. The ambiance and presentation was very good though a bit noisy. The staff was trained from front door to water boy to echo the theme of the place, so you won't expect a traditional Italian restaurant. From their website: Ventuno is an island restaurant inspired by the frascas of Italy, small farmhouses which opened themselves up to friends and neighbors with wine and homemade food.

Every entre' we had was bistro sized and full priced and every appetizer was bite sized. I ordered the appetizer portion of polpette (meatballs). When the order came, I was reminded of the man in the Madrid restaurant across from the BULLring who when his meal came and was not the huge "meatballs" he expected was told "senor, sometimes the bull wins." Serve this size meatball in a small farmhouse restaurant in Italy and you will be in business for only one night, if you live.

I just do not understand how a pasta dish can have 6 noodles and about half the lobster one would find in a Lobstah-roll, and a few drops of sauce. How the Hell much does even hand cut pasta cost that you can't at least put a little more into the bowl? Another metaphor: It reminds me of the expensive women's dresses that one sees at a night club on Miami Beach... lots of style, and a peek at something nice, but barely enough fabric to make a decent handkerchief.

And finally, the pricing. Expensive, even for Nantucket.

ASTEROID headed for EARTH

I don't know what is going to take to knock Casey off the front page. Everywhere you turn her now smiling (sullen during the trial) face greets you. The checkout line at the supermarket, when you turn on Comcast internet, and even on regular TV.

GOOD SPORT

Sarah Palin, you either love her or you hate her, shoots moose, rides bikes, and generally is an all around good sport. She was not smart enough to get a $300K/ year do-nothing job as diversity coordinator at a Chicago hospital like the President's wife, so the Lefties, say she is stupid. At least her butt fits in the bike seat. Plus, J Crew doesn't make leathers.

PATRIOTISM is for the BIRDS

While there is nothing wrong with being a member of the armed forces, the police, or Homeland Security, just remember that like any JOB, it is worth doing well, giving your employer his money's worth, but nothing more. Risking your life is one thing.. whether in fire, police or military or even when hang gliding or auto racing... that is part of life. If your employer expects you to DIE for him, get another job. You can be certain that no one in Congress or the White House plans on dying for you. As Patton said even in WAR..."You should not die for your country, you should make the other poor son-of-a-bitch die for his. "

Einstein, responsible indirectly for the creation of nuclear weapons of mass destruction, had this to say about war and such: "He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder." Quite a statement for the guy behind NUCLEAR BOMBS.

Whoever wrote that famous speech for JFK was a socialist... "Ask not what your country can do for you, but rather what you can do for your country." Really? Is that in the Constitution or is it the other way around? JFK, like so many others in government would have loved for you to give all your money, your lives, and your freedom so that they can retain power and so that the masses who depend upon your taxes, sacrifice, or as they say "blood and treasury" won't have to go out and make it in the real world. They can continue to suck on the Federal tit, thanks to the largess of the President and his minions, people in power because they pander to the lowest common denominator. Within this century, if things continue along the same trajectory, 20% of our country will be supporting the other 80% as those non-contributory huddled ignorant masses watch the 2087 version of "The Kardashians."

SACK of JAWEA

I HAVE FOLLOWED THE MUSINGS OF THIS MAN FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS. HE WAS GLEN BECK'S RIGHT HAND MAN FOR SOME OF THAT TIME AND APPEARED ON THE TV AND IN PRINT WITH GLEN (YOU EITHER LOVE HIM OR HATE HIM) BECK. I VISITED MR. SACK'S BLOG AND FOUND THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM PIMPING HIS BOOK ON MY BLOG, HE NEVER ANSWERS ANY OF MY E-MAILS OR REQUESTS BUT HERE IT IS ANYWAY. BUY THE BOOK. HE'S FUNNY, AND OBSERVANT, AND WON'T GET BACK TO YOU IF YOU WRITE HIM BECAUSE HE IS WAY TOO COOL. PFFFFFFT!

From New York, original humor & commentary by Brian Sack.
Subject to all the flexible quality standards of internet self-publishing.

Banterist: Home > March 2011 > March 8, 2011

A Primer In Politics For The Incredibly Disenchanted

Alas, I'm afraid my blog is more neglected than one of Charlie Sheen's children. There are several reasons. Babies, busy, ran out of funny. One of the bigger reasons for this extended neglect has been that I've been working on another book. The final edits are on their way to the publisher, Simon & Schuster. The book will look like this:

Please sear the image in to your memory so that you recognize it when you stroll into a book store. Assuming book stores still exist when the book comes out.

Speaking of: It will come out in June 2011. Or July 2011. Or August 2011. It's hard to say. Every time I ask someone I get a different answer. The good money seems to be on July. Let's just say July.

As you can see, it is called The B.S. of A: A Primer in Politics for the Incredibly Disenchanted. The assumption is you are among the incredibly disenchanted. Like my last book is a humor book. Unlike my last book, which was ostensibly directed at my son, it is ostensibly directed at everyone.

It's about politics, as the title suggests, and I tend to poke fun at a lot of things. There's a good chance I poke fun at some thing or politician you like. I hope that doesn't make you mad. It's all for the greater good of being as objective and non-partisan as possible, which is what we're sorely lacking these days.