AMERICA'S GOT TALENT?

LET'S HAVE SOME FUN THIS FALL

DITCH THE FARTY CANDIDATES

THE SAME OLD SAME OLD

EENIE, MEENIE, MINEY, MOE-CURLEY-LARRY

Twiddle Dum or Twiddle Dee, that is the question. Sure, I want our current president to go back to Chicago, but this is really a ship of fools. Perry's heart is in the right place but his head seems to be partially filled with air. Romney has a good business background which we sorely need but he comes from a religion that believes Jesus lived in America at one time. Mr. Cain is out of the race but calling him a hands-on leader seems to be about his hands being on as many females as our nation's first black president...Bill Clinton. Ron Paul? I love his libertarian principles and he's probably right about many things, but he seems like he came from the Planet Zenon. I guess in the interest of having fun watching the election since it probably makes no difference who wins as the snowball of federalism is rolling down the hill where we are standing at the bottom and we will eventually be buried in Government just like Europe is. So why not have some entertainment value along the way. Gingerich would be intellectually amusing, but Paul would make the Superbowl look like a sandlot game in my backyard.

ONE more FREEDOM you DON'T HAVE

I was reading the Sarasota Herald Tribune this morning and there was an article about this bright-bulb who was selected for jury duty and got bored waiting to be selected so he turned on his smart-phone (should he be allowed to have one?) and went to Facebook. As luck would have it he wrote about his ordeal waiting in the jury pool to be selected for some civil liability case. He accidentally "friended" the defendant on Facebook in the case he was selected to be a juror for. Of course he got in a heap of trouble, but the real question is...by what right does the government get to threaten you and make you serve on juries? Most of these cases involve some scam where the plaintiff gets whiplash and calls 1-800-suethem. So you are supposed to take time out of the one life God gave you to sit there and deliberate on whether he or she was injured and needs a billion dollars to feel better. Really. Where does it say in the constitution that citizens, or rather people with drivers licenses, have to serve on juries even if they don't want to? You still think you live in a FREE country? Ask yourself which political candidate supports fewer laws and less government and perhaps, that would be your best choice. They reason..."How would the system run if we didn't have mandatory jury service?" Why is that my problem? Or yours? What's next... everybody has to be a school crossing guard one day a week? King George is alive and well and rules America.

THE ILLUSION OF FREEDOM

Patriotic friends often send me videos and emails about how our current president is ruining America and how we will lose ALL our freedoms if he is re-elected. While I am not a fan of the current president, I think that horse has already left the barn. Freedom? How exactly do you define that? 50 years ago, before Obama was born, I had to by law register for Selective Service. All Men (women still don't have to register even though the law is still on the books) have to subject themselves to being drafted into Military service. Same as the conscription under penalty of imprisonment as exists in North Korea or any dictatorship. This was over a half CENTURY ago. Is this freedom? Serve or go to jail? (forget about anything other than your freedom to do or not do a particular thing)

You think you own your house even if you paid cash or no longer have a mortgage? Try not paying your taxes and see who really owns it. If you live on the water, you have to have a fishing license to fish off your own dock. Don't like that old tree in your front yard? Just cut it down and the Tree police will be on you like white on rice. Don't like recycling because you think it is a waste of time? Go ahead and just throw your bottles and cans in with the rest of the trash? What could happen?

If you have a spare moment or two, sit down and think of anything you do in your daily life. Then see if you are free to do it anywhere, anytime, or anyhow you want. The answer will never be YES. Someone from some level of government has passed a law, or a regulation, that has taken away most of your freedom. They just did it so slowly over hundreds of years that you don't notice it. People go to jail for smoking some wild weed called Marijuana. Pet a dolphin and you are sent up the river for a Federal crime. So when you start with all the whining about freedom of Choice, or bearing arms, or whatever, stop and see how little freedom you already have and how the politicians have stripped you of your inalienable rights and turned you into the serf that you were under King George of England, before we "WON" the Revolution. Water your lawn when you want? Spank your unruly child and children's services will take him away. Refuse to send your kid to those worthless public schools to be indoctrinated in political correctness but not taught to read? Just try it. YOU WILL BE HARD PRESSED TO THINK OF A SINGLE AREA OF YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU ARE FREE. So go ahead and just reelect Obama, it won't matter. You are already 99% enslaved. It will just get it over quicker.

NEVER try to teach a PIG to sing

For those among us who are concrete thinkers and take everything literally, and you know who you are, I am not advising against actually teaching a pig to sing. This is a metaphorical saying that implies that there are certain things that are doomed to failure because of the mismatch between the capabilities of the student and the wants of the teacher. Everyone has had this experience at one time or another in life. Whether it is trying to show your wife how to control the surround sound feature on your combined TV-internet-iTV-Ipad media station that looks like it was designed by NASA or her trying to show you the correctness of not leaving your underwear on the floor, the RCA dog with his head tilted and a vacant stare in his eyes best resembles the situation.

After repeated efforts, or so the story goes, the pig becomes annoyed, and you become angry at the impasse. What could have been a pleasant moment between two people has turned into an argument over meanness v stupidity claims by the respective parties. It all could have been avoided by following the simple rule. That is not to say that your wife and or husband may or may not actually be a pig, rather I am attempting to draw a comparison between trying to get a point across to those who for one reason or another "don't get it" and the obvious cognitive dissonance between the aforementioned pig and the voice coach. So next time you see frustration in yourself or the person you are attempting to "show" how to do something, reflect that this may be a "Pig" moment and politely back away. You will thank me for it. Also someone will not wind up sleeping in the barn.

On the third day of Christmas

"And an Ossssprey in a pine tree." In the back yard of the Oracle's home in Sarasota there is a tall (willow) Australian Pine tree. On one of its top branches, a Bird of Prey sits almost every day. It is an Osprey and looks like a small Bald eagle. He fishes in the bay and catches other game in our back yard. Yes, this is a fuzzy picture but It was taken from about 150 feet away with my iPhone and that's the best I could do.

Yesterday he was chirping all day and the Kitty (wife) speculated that he was sad and wanted a mate. I thought he might be just wishing us a Merry Christmas but I did not speak Osprey so I could not refute her claim. He is there today again but quiet. I told him a joke this morning and that might have done the trick. It was about the world's shortest fairy tale... A handsome prince asked the beautiful maiden if she would marry him. She said no. And he lived happily ever after.

J E B O M G N O

In a country of 300 million people, where a herd of Republican candidates have been running to be the presidential contender, there are actually (more than one) people out there who are trying to encourage JEB Bush, the former governor of Florida to "jump in" to the race. Now, Jeb may be the nicest guy in the world...I know a guy who knows a guy who knows him, and he certainly wasn't the worst governor in the history of Florida, but what are we? Iraq? Saddam is gone so we put in Uday or Kusay? Or Korea, where Kim Jong Un replaced the deceased Kim Jong Il? Or Libya where some Quadaffi of other waits in the wings? Lets not even talk about the next wave of Kennedys. But, really, another Bush?

George Herbert Walker-Texas-Ranger Bush was a one term unremarkable place holder who was a competent administrator of this or that but otherwise his only claim to fame is that his wife, Barbara, looks like George Washington on the one-dollar bill. And I read his lips and they were lying. We are still recovering from George "W" Bush's administration and the multi trillion dollar deficit, War everywhere for no apparent reason, and the excuse-that keeps on giving for Obama's incompetence. "George Bush caused the stock market/real estate/bank crash and has directly lead to the death of thousands of cute puppies." (B. Obama quote) Now we want to put in a third Bush? If we have to, Why not KYLE Bush, at least we know he can win races, or Reggie Bush, who can run. But JEBzebel Bush? Was Jimmy Hoffa Jr. Busy?

New Year's day is coming

Every year at this time people all over the civilized world make bold and empty promises to themselves called RESOLUTIONS. Though the intentions are good "eat right, exercise more, balance my checkbook" the success rate resembles that of Lindsey Lohan getting off chemical dependency. In fact, maybe even she made resolutions. Yet, every year, like Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown, we fall for the notion that this year it will be different.

I prefer to make retrograde resolutions for the past year. I look back at, say, 2011, and see if I did anything better, then I claim it as my resolution. Voila, success. When shooting at targets, shoot first, then claim that whatever you hit was your intended target. Works every time. Why set yourself up for disappointment when you can have guaranteed success. It's the American way. Every kid gets a trophy, just or showing up, or not showing up, your choice.