GENDER EQUALITY..not really

NationalOrganization of Women, take notice. The men's room door has no lock. The ladies' room has a code. I know, I reported on this before but a recent news item from the last few days reminded me that the whole issue of gender equality is a bunch of hooey. Cherry picking is rampant. Women want equal pay for equal work, and a whole bunch of things but it is still THE LAW of the land that they are the "weaker sex" and not subject to "equality." The capsizing of the Italian Cruise ship and the "women and children first" rule that was violated by the Captain is one example.

Ray Kelly, the Police Commissioner of New York, has a son who is a TV personality. A couple of MONTHS ago, he had some back and forth communication (texting I believe) with a young woman, who had a boyfriend. Nevertheless, Kelly and the woman went out on a date and at the end of the evening she invited him back to her law office where they apparently did a little "desk work." A few months later she accused him of RAPE and every newspaper in New York and most TV shows have carried the story. I don't remember seeing her photo in the paper (the accuser) but his was ubiquitous. His reputation and life are over because of an accusation by a "victim" who, even though she was involved with another man in a relationship and "cheated on him" it appears, worked out a "date" with Mr. Kelly, and took him back to her office late at night to show him her "briefs" or go over some "motions" whatever.

We will know that we have TRUE gender equality when all the papers show a photo of both the accuser and the accused. Also, when they take the lock off the womens' room door, or put one on the men's room too.

HATE of the UNION Address

Last night, President Obama spoke to a joint session of Congress, The Supremes, His cabinet, and a rag-tag group of citizens including Warren Buffett's secretary and the guy who got a job as a result of a million dollar retraining program. The "almost president" Hillary Rodham Freddy Kruger Clinton was there. The TV cameras focussed on her face several times, prompting me to call Comcast to cancel my High Definition service...some things are not meant to be seen in such fine detail.

On to the speech. Blah blah blah, that pretty much sums it up. Oh, I forgot, "It's Bush's fault." There. Mr. President did his very best to divide and conquer. I am not one of the 1% but there has NEVER been a year in my adult life when I have missed the opportunity to pay income taxes. I can't say that for 42% of our potential U S taxpayers, all of whom would have to vote Democrat to continue to RECEIVE money from the government rather that pay on April 15th. Couple those folks with the 45 million who get Food Stamps, and the Union members who get to tell others in America they can't work unless they join a union, and Obama will win the next election by 127%. At least in Chicago.

There are some folks in America who wish that Hillary had won the primary race 4 years ago, as if she would have somehow been better than BHO. I guess there would have been some upside to that. With "First Lady" Bill. there would have been more trollops running around the White House than any time since Camelot and the Kennedy Administration. On the other hand, we would have to see Hillary on TV every day looking like she did at the STATE of the Union event, like she had just posed as the farmer's wife standing next to the guy with the pitchfork in the painting, American Gothic. Considering her multimillion dollar net worth and the Clintons' 1% status, you would think she would get Paul Mitchell to give her a "touch up" before she showed up on TV. I know I am right. Even the Kitty though she looked like a Bag Lady.

HANGING with CHAD

Well, as the Gipper said "Here we go again." Just like Freddy Kruger, idiots who can't figure out how to cast a vote will once again rise from their ACLFs to complain about how hard it is to push the little paper thing out of the ballot or how it's so challenging to figure out how to use a touch screen.

The Democrat party, capitalizing on their core constituency "people who can't figure out life" have begun to advertise that Republicans want to take away Social Security, Medicare, and soft furry puppies from Old People. The painful part of this is that the American Association of Geezers is buying into this as they sell more Medicare supplemental Health Insurance to this captive demographic.

If you are over 65, and think that anyone is planning to take away your Social Security and Medicare, you need to do more crossword puzzles and consider taking some Ginko Biloba.

I would like a cabin on the PORT side, Please

The parent company of the capsized ship Cost Concordia is offering passengers a 30% discount on future voyages, presumably on another ship in their line. This is like a doctor who just amputated the wrong leg now offering to take the correct one off for a 30% DISCOUNT. As the joke goes, the good news is that the guy in the next bed wants to buy your shoes.

The captain, Guido the Galant, in the interest of safety, seems to have abandoned ship first so he could direct the rescue effort with a more panoramic view of the sinking ship. The Italian government has begun to make noises about charging him with several crimes. It's a good thing that this is not a French ship, or he might have been guilty of leaving the dining room before they served the creme brulee'.

The Kitty is fond of taking cruises. I am not. I do not enjoy spending thousands to live in a cabin the size of an economy room at a Motel 6. As for the food. It can be delectable but usually it is just abundant. Then there's the sea sickness thing. And let's not forget about the potential for that virus that sweeps through the ship producing a reaction like one would get from a month drinking tap water in Mexico. Can you say Montezuma's Revenge? I apologize for the negative "take" on cruising. If you think otherwise, this could be your chance to cruise for a 30% discount on Costa Something. Try the pineapple upside down cake.

NEWT ? BARACK? MITT?

This is a photo of a newt, a kind of lizard. A mitt is something you put on your hand so you won't get burned when you pull something hot out of the oven. Barack, is the sound you make if you eat too many beans. This year, these words have taken on a whole new meaning. They are the names of men who are vying to remain or become the leader of the free world.

Unlike other places like North Korea for example where the election of the next president takes about an hour, we have a 4 year cycle. The minute a president takes office, he begins to run for his second term. In fact, all his decisions are geared to reelection rather than that foolish expectation we all have "doing the right thing." Even when he can't run again because of term limits, he is campaigning for his party and the taking over of the House, the Senate, or Governorships. In the last year of a President's term, he pulls out all the stops and goes on a one year road trip, not even making a pretense of governing the country. It's all about visiting the swing states, to campaign for re-election even though he has no competition in the primary.

Republicans this year are also spending 12 months running to become the chosen candidate for their party, and then eventually the Presidency. Santorum was a Senator. He is now a private citizen who does not get a government paycheck. Romney lives on his capital gains and also does not have a government job to do. Gingrich is self employed but used to be on the government payroll. Ron Paul's full time, $180,000 per year job is that of U.S. Congressman. And what a job it is. You can be on the road continuously campaigning for your next prospective job, and still get your paycheck. It's not as good a gig as that of the President who gets $400,000 and a really big travel budget. All he has to do is claim that he is "informing" the people in Chicago, for example, and then he can fly there with 2 Air Force Jets, a Helicopter, a fleet of Suburbans, with an army of Secret Service agents. No charge to the campaign...he was "working."

Looking on the bright side... this is such a complicated, protracted, expensive process that it "has to" help our economy. The Democrat war-chest is predicted to be about a BILLION dollars. All the TV coverage, the newspapers sold, the bill boards, robo-calls, pollsters, pundits, political books, hotels and restaurants to support "the traveling salvation show" the reporters who have jobs, the caterers, bus drivers... it is endless. In fact, the entire economy of Iowa and New Hampshire is dependent upon the every-4-year presidential race. I mean, what else do they sell in New Hampshire?

So when you buy a T-shirt that says "I Love Newt", with or without the photo of the lovely critter above, know that YOU are doing your part for our economy.

MAGIC UNDERWEAR

I am just an ordinary American. I wear jeans and boat shoes, a suit now and then, and a tuxedo when I go to black tie weddings. I do not wear a funny hat, or a towel, or any other accoutrements as part of my religion. I am not averse to a "Miraculous Medal" a crucifix, or a Star of David worn as a sign of one's belief so long as it is not the size of a manhole cover. As an American whose immigrant ancestors assimilated into the American culture rather than just bringing their culture here and then demanding that they can vote in Swahili, Spanish, or whatever, if am "turned off" by excessive demands on the parts of some religions to wear articles of clothing that are "over the top." I can get the yarmulka, barely, but the whole bearded blacksuited Diamond District thing is just un-American. Turbans, and other headdresses, Burkas, and the like, also don't represent e-pluribus unum.

Now we have Mormons (only one left but he is in the lead) running to be the Republican presidential candidate. The photo above is of "temple garments" called magic underwear by some, that is required attire for some members of their church. Rather than going into the reasons for this, just let me say that I would not want to be a member of a religion that required me to wear some article of clothing unless it was for a parade, or I were a priest in that religion and it was a uniform of my trade. I am not the leading authority on LDS or Mormon things, but as a doctor, I have actually had patients who disrobed and were wearing this underwear. I have had colleagues and employees who were Mormons. As a result of my lifetime experience and after watching Mitt Romney, I conclude that the purpose of these special garments must be "to hide the stick."

If you are a Jew, you are not supposed to eat pork or shellfish, mix meat with milk, etc. Catholics were not supposed to eat meat on Friday during my lifetime. Mormons can't have alcohol or caffeine. They drink O-Doul's beer and some nasty-ass grape juice wine that has no alcohol. I have not met any Mormons who are "fun guys" and I think their dietary limitations must play a role. Jews drink alcohol and lots of Diet Cola. They can be lively and fun and let their hair down. I have NEVER met a Mormon who made you feel like he was the kind of guy you would want to have a beer with (obvious reasons previously explained). But that expression has come up more than once in this election cycle. Clinton and Bush were guys you could have a beer with. Romney...not so much. I can barely watch this man campaign, wearing a pair of jeans that look like they were starched and pleated, no less look forward to 4 years of him as President. So, like every Mormon I have ever met, he seems to worship the Almighty Dollar, and can balance a budget and is financially successful. I still do not look forward to seeing him on TV for the next 5 years and knowing that under that suit lurks a crisp white ensemble of magic underwear, and the invisible "stick."

FIND SOMETHING TO CRITICIZE

The LEFT leaning media and all the liberal pundits have their panties in a knot over Mitt Romney. While they never questioned any of our current president's credentials or qualifications, never mind his "iffy" associations with radical clerics and terrorists, they are on Romney like white on rice, particularly over his Mormon faith. While I am not a sycophant for either Mr. Romney or his religion, I prefer Mormonism to the secular humanism we suffer through today with government. Last time I looked, Mormons refer to their religion as "the Church of Jesus Christ...etc." That should be enough for Evangelicals in the south. For this born again group that preaches religious tolerance, I would expect that having the name Jesus in the name of the religion should be enough, unless is is a religion founded by my Mexican gardener that involves sacrificing chickens. Who the HELL else are you guys going to vote for anyway? The pro-abortion, wealth redistributing, gay and lesbian rights activist that currently resides in the White House? Get over yourselves and do the right thing. Vote Republican or as we say in Florida... A B B O....Any Body But Obama.

I hear that the Democrats are spreading the rumor that Biden is slowly losing his marbles from some dementia or other. They seem to be setting the stage for HILLARY (Lord save us) to be the VP. Especially if the electorate doesn't just vote based on the Democrats spending a BILLION dollars on the campaign but rather looks for themselves at their personal economic situation and rightfully decides... the Captain of the ship has driven us onto a reef. Time for a new captain.

SUNSHINE STATE

They don't call FLORIDA "The Sunshine State" for nothing. My family room faces East and this is what greets me almost every morning. I get up at O-dark-30 and make a pot of coffee. I crank up the laptop or iPhone or iPad depending on my mood and read some e-mails or maybe post to my Blog. Pretty soon the light starts to creep into the East window and then, sometimes, like a paparazzi's flash, the room is filled with light as the Sun leaps above the horizon. The color changes from moment to moment can be amazing ( I promise that there are no drugs or alcohol involved). When it is cloudy, sepia, as in this photos is the dominant theme. On a clear day it looks like a southwestern sky with bands of rose and baby blue. I used to sort of take the whole sunrise thing for granted because it is a daily occurrence. Now, I put aside whatever electronic gizmo I am using, lift my very large Pottery Barn cup of coffee up ceremonially, and "toast" the rising Sun. I give thanks for all that I have and the warmth and the light that the Sun brings to the Earth. Global warming... isn't that the idea?

CAUSE for Global Warming DISCOVERED

Scientists have determined after exhaustive research that the primary cause for Global Warming is none other than... Michael Moore. With a body mass second only to Montana and the never-ending hot air spewing from what scientists refer to as his "pie hole" the temperature of the Earth has risen during his lifetime. Like with the SUV, a cause and effect relationship may not be statistically proven but the correlation is indisputable. Prior to his birth, the Earth's temperature was comfortable and the seas were not rising. Since his birth in 1954 the temperature has risen, Bernie Madoff's estate in Palm Beach is underwater, or maybe that's just a financial expression, and Al Gore, a person with no reason to be successful, has become wealthier than Cresus. Coincidence? I think not.

If you doubt this scientific conclusion, watch him when he appears on television on one of his many appearances on the Tavis Smiley show, C-Span, or PBS. These venues too have been affected by his presence as evidenced by the melting away of audience numbers and Neilsen ratings. QED.

Much ado about NOTHING

Readers of the "classics" out there know that "Much Ado About Nothing" is the title of a play by William Shakespeare. Today the IOWA caucuses will be held in the dead center of our country. It's called the "dead" center" because nothing ever happens there except every 4 years they have the caucuses.

The process goes something like this...evangelical farmers wander in the direction of meeting places, like Chucky Cheese and various 4H clubs and discuss amongst themselves and decide who the next President of the United States will be. There will be more TV and newspaper reporters there than actual voters. You can tell who the media people are, they will be the ones freezing their asses off while the Iowan's have sunbathing reflectors under their chins to catch a few rays as the temperature "soars" from 18 to 40 degrees. Sometime later tonight, we will know who a few thousand folks wearing bib overalls have decided will go on to be the Republican candidate that will defeat our absentee imperial president, Mr. Obama, next November. The right leaning press is touting the "real" middle-American-ness of Iowa and how important this event is, while the left wing press reminds us everyday that there are no black people in the state (Herman Cain was almost there but he wouldn't have counted anyway according to MSNBC because all real black people are liberal Democrats) and therefore it is not representative of the US. They forget that it was Iowa where all these middle American white people gave Obama his start 4 years ago supporting the notion that white Americans do not vote with color prejudice. When Obama loses next November, the lefties will cry racism but in reality, it will be because Americans are mostly color-blind and fair but believe in results. There were results from the Obama presidency but they were all bad. You can't fool a guy from Iowa. It's the Field of Dreams state but not the Field of Dreams of my Father state. At least not this year.

Anyhow, considering that the state is known for corn and hogs, it is a fitting beginning to the race for the presidency. There is no place on Earth where feeding at a trough and acting like a pig is more a part of the culture than in government. Sui Sui.