The GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY

Yesterday was SUNDAY here on Nantucket, I guess it was at your house too unless you live in Australia, then it was either Saturday or Monday, I don't remember how that works.  It was the best of days, it was the worst of days. As for the Best part... we had dinner at our friends Frank and Barbara's house among 10 other guests who call Nantucket home during the summer. Folks came from every conceivable background, IBM, Banking, Medicine, Social work, teaching, landscaping, and the hospitality business.  The food was amazing...chicken lasagna with roasted pepper sauce, garlic bread to die for, or from if you are like two of my Sarasota friends, Ed and Shelley, and a home-made no-calorie carrot cake.  The wine was flowing and Moi felt no pain...for a while.  At 3 AM as I sat at the side of my bed with my heart doing the Conga, I realized I might have gone a chardonnay too far attempting analgesia.  Truth serum (In Vino Veritas) does that to my physiology some times (bad). A small price to pay, and I am sure I learned no lesson from this at all.  What a feast.  Henry the 8th (who as we remember invented fractions) would have enjoyed it.

Even the overindulgence aftermath was better than earlier that same morning.  The Kitty had run into a realtor friend of ours at the Stop and Shop the day before and the realtor said "The most unbelievably charming house just came on the market and it's ONLY $900,000. We are only in the market for more real estate, anywhere, if it is amazing and special etc, and the Kitty was assured that it was. We met her Sunday morning at the house to take a tour of it.  As I climbed the 3 steps up to the front porch to enter the house, distracted by conversation, I rose up on the top step and hit my head and jammed my neck on the header beam which is apparently, at 4 inches shorter than I am, common in the Historical Homes.  Remember that they were much smaller people back in the 1800s, because Pop Tarts, Cocoa Puffs, and Gator Aide had not been invented yet and their diets were therefore not nutritious, which stunted their growth. Whatever the explanation, this header beam impact felt like someone had hit me over the head with Webster's 1000 page Unabridged Dictionary, (something we no longer need now that we have Wikipedia). It is 24 hours later and it still hurts, but at least the concussion seems to have gone away and I can probably skip the visit to Nantucket Cottage Hospital's CT scanner.  More to follow.  I politely soldiered on and viewed the rest of the house which was positively Lilliputian in every way.  The master bedroom was a loft that barely fit a double bed and had a pitched ceiling that made it impossible to get into or out of bed if you were not Mary Lou Retton; the downstairs bedroom was the size of a guest bathroom in the average home, anywhere but the historical district; and the kitchen was "all renovated."  The  expansive 4 foot countertop was granite, the rest of the kitchen still looked like a "regular bathroom in the average house" minus the toilet.  Speaking of toilet, I never saw one of those, come to think of it.  The yard was indeed charming, though small.  Anyhow, from the HEAD NECK injury standpoint alone, I would put this event in the BAD category. I did learn some new realtor terms.  Charming means considering it is over 100 years old it still hasn't fallen down. Amazing means you will see stars when you come in the front door. Cottage means bring Ken and Barbie with you since only they can fit inside.  G.I. Joe would be iffy. As for the unbelievable part... that was the price.