JUST SAY...WHOA

I counted calories today as a sort of an experiment. Unfortunately I counted them AFTER I ate them. My retrospective scientific study proved to me as a physician that obesity does not come from meals. I believe that if your dinner is a stick of southern fried butter and that's all you eat... you will lose weight. The devil lives in, among other places, the bread basket in the middle of the table that they bring you when they bring the menus in restaurants or mom puts there filled with biscuits as a sign of her love. To show her that you love her back, you eat them and say "mmmm'. Other lurking places include, the peanuts and salted and fried rice chex bowls at the bar which one eats mindlessly while sipping the first cocktail. And then there's the second cocktail and or beer and the third. Now, I can't speak for you on this but for me, the first glass of wine or other alcohol is the magic one. It tastes great and creates a gentle buzz. After that it becomes drinking out of habit and perhaps thirst. Better to switch to water. Also I enjoy myself less with each drink as I struggle to form words and thoughts.

At the risk of digressing I believe that this insensitive fattening happens in areas of our lives unrelated to food. Take a car purchase, one of my favorites. A $30,000 car can turn into a $50,000 car by adding the automotive equivalent of useless and mindless calories. They are disguised as things you add from the options list that you will almost never use and certainly do not need. These things include the sun roof, the navigation system, the extra 10 speaker stereo, bigger tires and wheels, premium package with auto dimming lights and the ability to connect your big screen TV and iPhone at the same time to your car dashboard. You get the picture. Now some of these are like dessert. Get one that you really want and enjoy it and not the ones the salesman says you have to have because it affects resale. If you are leasing your car...the only thing accessories affect is how much more you pay every month.

A couple of dinner rolls, an extra cocktail of two, and the F'ing peanuts at the bar and you have gorged yourself on hundreds of calories you wouldn't miss. Scientifically speaking, a pound of body weight goes on every time you eat 3,500 calories more than you need to sustain yourself. Let's just assume that this 500 calories you mindlessly ate happens every day... and it does in some form or other... the cookie at the bank... the chips out of the bag as you walk through the kitchen, the 250 calorie real Coke... and you multiply that times 7 days. That means you will gain a POUND a WEEK or 50 pounds a YEAR. It' s like that insensitive fluid loss that happens in dry climates only instead of getting dehydrated you get fat. Lets call it insensitive fatness.

Now if it means a lot to go out for an ice cream and you get the one scoop Rocky Road. That does not count in this new dietary consciousness that I am proposing. The second scoop, the reeses pieces, the extra large cone... they count. Savor the single scoop, skip the supersize portion, and when you have tasted it enough and enjoyed it... throw the uneaten part away rather than just swallowing it. At the end of the day, you will have had good meals, a drink, a dessert, and NOT MINDLESSLY consumed an extra 500 to 1000 calories on filler.

Look before you leap in your purchases, your choices, and above all your food intake. When that waiter brings the bread basket tell him to take it away before it has a chance to attach itself to your ass. Decline the fresh hot Otis Spunkmeyer chocolate chip cookie (or two) at the bank ( the modern day equivalent of the toaster.) Don't have open bags of chips anywhere in your reach. Move the bowl of peanuts down the bar far enough that you would have to get off your barstool to get them. And at home, once everyone is served, put the rest of the meal in Tupperware and put it in the fridge. It's the REAL way to show them that you love them. When the barista at Starbucks tells you that you can get the Venti size Caramel latte Frapucino for only 20 cents more... just say Whoa. It's an easy word to remember. It's the same one other people would use when you pass them and they turn around to look at you from behind. Do you want that to be a GOOD whoa, or a bad one?