TO PAY or NOT TO PAY

We went to a nice restaurant the other night.  The food was good, the service was good, not great, and the prices were reasonable.  At the end of the meal when the bill was presented, there was a "TIP" of 18% added to the total.  Below that, and later on the credit card printout, there was a space for "ADDITIONAL TIP" on top of the mandatory one.  First of all, I object to mandatory tipping as it does not encourage great service AND it is not actually a tip at all.  This is really paying for the salaries of the restaurant's employees.  Can you imagine going to a doctor's office and at the bottom of your office visit charge slip there is an entry for an additional 18% to pay the nurse  and the option to pay even more if the exam table was not too cold and she only had to stick you once to draw blood or some other special service?  So now I am being asked to not only pay the restaurant's employee's salary, but another tip on top of that.  Really?  Bad enough we get "Market Price" on anything that is more costly than chop meat, now we are pressured to double tip.  I think I will eat at home more.  Save a few 18-20% tips and the Kitty can get another pair of Manolos.  

IVY League

Every year at my favorite sandwich place on Nantucket, SOMETHING NATURAL on Cliff Road, at the foot of the stairs leading down from the check out area, this little feller grows into the walkway.  For those who know, "Leaves three, let me be." Poison Ivy can make you itch. I have stopped telling management and no longer warn the tourists wearing shorts and flip flops who lean against the railing here.  I used to but I felt like St. John the Baptist, " a voice crying in the wilderness."  Now I just make sure that absent mindedly I don't walk through it. "It's gonna take an ocean....of calamine lotion..."

TIME to get the FLOCK out of here

This afternoon is bright and sunny and 64 degrees.  Riding along on my scooter at 20 miles per hour required the addition of an undershirt under my regular shirt. Next week I would have to add a light jacket, and so on into the fall.  Some days will be warm and others will be cold and rainy.  The Sun will set earlier and those of us with Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D) will start to get grumpier.  It's time to think "Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes" and head back south where Summer in HELL is over and our best climate awaits. Jimmy Buffett sings about the laid back ways of warmer climes but the average mid-70s and casual nature of Nantucket can't be beat. The Kitty and I were saying last night how we wish we could bottle some of this to take back home with us.  There are NO traffic lights on Nantucket and the average speed on the roads is 20 mph. Nobody blows his horn if you daydream at an intersection and on the narrow roads where only one car can pass at a time, courtesy prevails. The dress code is non-existent but somehow the Kitty always looks great.  I am in jeans or shorts except if there is a dinner at a country club, then I dress it all the way up to chinos.

As the old saying goes..."The only Zen you find at the top of a mountain is the Zen you bring there." The wonderful weather and relaxed atmosphere of this island certainly promote a healthy and outdoor lifestyle, relaxation, and being in the NOW.  I'm sure hope we can keep this up on our return for the Fall and Spring in Florida. As for the brief Florida winter, maybe we can take advantage of Miami's extra 10 degrees of warmth. It is amazing how ones mood can depend so much on Mother Nature.  We can fight it, or go with the flow and follow the Sun, like Canada Geese.  We'll come back up here into the cold a couple of times, for Christmas Stroll and Daffodil Festival but for reasons other than the weather, more in spite of it.  And my scooter, named the Ducky, or the Banana because of its bright yellow color, will probably hibernate on a trickle battery charger in the garage until Spring.

MASSACHUSETTS HEALTH FOOD

When I think about political correctness, my thoughts immediately picture TAXachusetts, one of our most politically liberal states.  It's the state where a woman running for Senator can claim to be part American Indian to further her career and get a Harvard affirmative action appointment, get caught in the lie, receive the nickname FAUXcahontas, and still probably win the election against centrist Scott Brown.  All of the liberal causes that don't begin in Cal-e-for-nee-ah begin here. One expects that they would practice what they preach.  Barrier free handicapped bathrooms would be a start.  There are public restrooms here on Nantucket that can only be reached by a rock climber or a spelunker.  There is no requirement that a business even have a bathroom for customers.  I was riding my scooter to several errands yesterday, one of which was to go to The NANTUCKET Bank just off Main Street in DOWNTOWN Nantucket, to deposit a check.  By that time my full bladder was calling to me so I wandered into where I thought a public restroom would be and there were side by side doors labelled "Staff Only."  Locked and unavailable. The never friendly bank manager looked at me like I was Willy Sutton there to take all their money.  "Sir, can I help you?"  Then again I shouldn't complain since a handicapped person couldn't even get into the building because there are three steps in front and no ramp. I checked with zoning.  There is no restroom requirement for customers.

As for the food, though this Philly Cheese sandwich from Downyflake is absolutely delicious, it contains no vegetation (where's Michelle Obama when you need her?).  This is typical fare...burgers, lobster smothered in Mayo, deep fat fried chicken like they make in Alabama, and cheese on everything.  Fries come with every meal including if you just order a side of fries.  These had no salt.  Be still my heart.  No I mean really.

So they are not barrier free, the food is not Vegan, and they have lots of hunters.  IT IS MY KIND OF PLACE, I just wish they would stop preaching "do as I say, not as I do" and trying to elect Fauxcahontas to the Senate.

OBROMNEY

Since this is the silly season and politicians are monopolizing the airwaves, it is unavoidable that I at least mention the fact that there is an election coming up.  Really? You ask. Yes, and just as in the past, it is the most important election in your lifetime, until the next one.  The issues are complex and hard to understand, so forget all those details..  If you want to know whether to vote Democrat, or Republican, there is one simple test.  Which one are you?  If you are a Republican, you sign your checks on the front.  If you are a Democrat, you sign your checks on the back.  Now go vote.

A TALE OF TWO BURGERS

Last year and for many years before that there was a restaurant on Main Street in Nantucket called "The Even Keel." We always enjoyed going, inside, outside or take out.  They lost their lease or the owner retired or something and at the beginning of summer a new restaurant was doing interior renovations in preparation for opening.  It eventually did.  It is called MET on MAIN. We ate there before and enjoyed out meal.  Tonight, we went for what is known as 5 dollar burger night.  At the end of season, in order to keep open, more than one restaurant on island does these kinds of specials.  Kitty Murtaugh has a great 5 dollar burger deal.  We figured that the MET would step up to the  dinner plate on this special night to serve up their usual 14 dollar burger for 5 dollars, just like Kitty's does. A real bargain.  Au contraire.  What they did was serve a mini version with none of the fixings.  We ordered two tonight and sat at the bar for a half hour waiting for our meals to be served by the nice bartender.

Not only were they small, they were ordinary.   The price was as advertised.  $10 Total, which on Nantucket during high season would be practically FREE.  We give the food quality a 6 out of 10.  The service (not our bartender's fault) a 5/10.  The restaurant was nearly empty when we arrived and the manager said we would have a 15 minute wait.  Not enough wait staff apparently,  Not enough cooks.  Not enough meat in the burger. Not ready for PRIME (beef) time.  Skip this restaurant's end of season burger special.  It's not worth the wait.  Even the bill took a long time to come because the computer was frozen.  I think they have an absentee owner and it shows.  

CLASS (less) PHOTO

While visiting my daughter, she played me a voice mail that was left on her cell phone.  Somehow, a man who was looking for me, left a message that he might me my long lost cousin on my father's side of the family.  I called him back and a lot of the pieces started to fall into place.  There is a chance that we are indeed related.  He has photos and locations and dates that fit well enough for me to search my old family photos once I return to my other island.  I only have a few old time photos of myself in my laptop.  This one is my grade school graduation.  Can you guess which one I am?

I have had a mild interest in my family history.  Ancestry on Nantucket is very important.  Everyone who is anyone is distantly related to Herman Melville.  Not so much in Florida where the typical pool company advertisement would say something like IN BUSINESS SINCE  (all the way back to) 2008.  I have socks older than some of the towns in the Sunshine State.  It is the antithesis of the island I am currently standing on.  I hope you read my piece on the visit to the Historical Home.  There are things  here that could not pass any building code anywhere.  The bathroom where only Herve' Villechaise (remember "De Plane, Boss, De Plane!" from Fantasy Island) could use the potty at Fig's on Fair Street. "How Looooow can you go?" must have been invented there.  Barrier free?  Hardly, in the most PC state in America.  Anyway, on Nantucket, the folks who live here, and admittedly me now, consider taking the ferry to Hyannis..."Going to America." Things really are centuries old here. In Florida, the only old things look like Q-tips peering over the steering wheel while driving 45 mph in the left lane with their indicator on for miles.   But I digress.

Getting back to the family history, the gentleman who contacted me assured me that he was not on a phishing expedition and wasn't looking for my social security number and bank routing number.  He also does not live in Nigeria. I Googled him and found out that he was a Navy guy and still plays a big role in historic preservation of an old Destroyer and an Aircraft carrier in Charleston.  Also the Medal of Honor hall of of fame.  So, I am going to keep up the conversation and will soon be in the attic looking for the old box of  photos to see if there is indeed a long lost cousin on my father's side.  There are no living relatives to ask that I remember from my childhood.  Perhaps I will have to cough up some filthy lucre to Ancestry.com to help me out here.  I will report my progress.

Portrait of the ARTIST as an OLD man

The Kitty and I had the pleasure of visiting the home/art studio of a Nantucket artist today.  He lives in Mid-Island which means zoning is merely a suggestion.  Though the neighborhood was a hodge-podge of commercial, residential and whatever, it was a perfect location for his studio.  Just stepping into the home I was immediately whisked into a movie about the life of Picasso, Pollock, or Warhol.  Paint brushes, unfinished art, and pencils were everywhere. The bookshelves were overflowing with great literature, and guitars and digital music were shelved and catalogued and at the same time strewn hither and yon like leaves in autumn.  Everything about the place shouted ARTIST! at more than one medium.  Made me want to be one....again.  I love playing music on the guitar or piano,  writing and painting, restoring old things like cars and motorcycles and I have a pretty good collection of books too, mostly read several times. Other than the Kitty calling her lawyer if I ever wanted to live in this neighborhood, it was a real pleasure seeing how a practicing Renaissance man and his family live. Maybe I can reproduce it in Florida or next season here on island.  It would not be the first time someone was a scientist, philosopher, and artist all at once.  It was a pretty common combo back in Florence in the 1400s.  

The BIG DOG leaves a BIG PILE

In the interest of being fully informed Americans, the Kitty and I watched Bill Clinton last night as he spoke to the Democratic National Convention.  As usual, he was articulate, charismatic, handsome, and wordy.  He was also Full of Fertilizer.  Even the Washington Post, not known for its middle of the road political stance, gave him 4 PINOCCHIOs their highest rating for BS on several of his major points in todays "fact Checker".  The very fact that Clinton has come to the support of a man we all know he does not like, Obama, indicates that politicians will say anything, anytime, to anyone, for a price, usually power.  The pundits on more than one TV channel say that it is in preparation for getting Obama's support for his wife, Saint Hilary's, run for President in the future, perhaps 2016.  Anyhow, Clinton's nickname is "the BIG DOG" as in... he is the leader of the pack, does not stay on the porch, etc.  Anyone with a lawn knows what big dogs are capable of.  Last night, this Big Dog left a BIG PILE in Charlotte.  The audience ate it up, figuratively.  Perhaps the Democrat party should change its mascot from the DONKEY to the Dung Beetle.

TIPPING POINT

We are at that point in any game,  life activity, or disease, when things could go either way.  We don't have the luxury of saying "I feel strongly both ways."  We have to choose..go for the field goal or the touchdown; do the surgery or try a different medication; elect a NEW president, or stay the course with the OLD one. I am entering the biblically promised age of 3 score and ten.  My generation will soon pass away and be replaced by each succeeding new one as long as our country exists.  I guess we had our turn to elect representatives to steer our country and now that right belongs to young and middle age voters since the consequences of these choices will follow them through their lives.  Mostly I don't think they are paying attention but that is a different issue.

As I see the world, expectations have morphed and are now different than when I was younger.  The frontier mindset has all but disappeared and has been replaced by the safety net, entitlement, the everybody gets a trophy zeitgeist. Even in medicine,  computerized treatment by algorithm, every patient gets an MRI, and we will do a physical exam if we have to, has replaced the good diagnostician who could smell disease.  Soundbites replace debate on the news.  Olympic athletes are multimillionaire professionals the rest of the year, when "in my day" they could not even accept a free pair of shoes. Things change.  It is just my hope that they change as the result of active choices of those who will have to live under the new system, not defaulting to the incremental growth of government  that crowds out everything, by its very nature, like a tumor.  That seems to be what we have, on steroids, pushed by the agenda of those currently in power.

We (the Kitty and I) went to a movie a few days ago...."2012" about Obama's true political motivations of anti-colonialism.  The audience was mostly white-haired.  Either young people are all Liberal or they don't care.  Either way, the America of my youth and middle age is gone or at least going.  European socialism has not been fatal to Sweden, and if that's what modern Americans want, so be it.  Healthcare for everyone given by doctors who got their medical training at the equivalent of junior college. Everybody gets a Toyota Corolla, and lives in a rental apartment.  Like in the old Eastern Bloc, we will pretend to work, and the government will pretend to pay us.  The new national anthem will be written by Nikki Minaj. I think that New WORLD  would be intolerable, but then again I worked way too hard in my life making it on my own.  Perhaps if we had more food stamps, welfare, and unemployment for 99 weeks back in my youth, I could have had a nice secure job from 9-5 and spent more time watching the modern version of Bread and Circus... professional sports. GO TEAM....

The DUCK Rides again

I have a LIttle YELLOW Scooter in Nantucket.  With the roads up here it is a perfect way to get from place to place and feel the breeze and fresh air.  The level of danger is about the same as walking or riding a bicycle here, visiting a historic house, or the likelihood of getting chest pain after seeing your bill after eating in one of the restaurants.  I have not given my toy a name as yet.  My grandkids have names for everything they own.  Every stuffed sheep has a pedigree.  I have tentatively named my scooter "the DUCK" because it is the color of a little rubber ducky.  While I was riding two days ago, before my head and neck injury visiting a historic house (see previous blog post) the odometer "rolled over" to 1000 miles.  I took a picture of this historic moment.  After all, this island is all about "history." Unlike when I visit historic houses, when I ride the Duck, I wear a helmet.

T.R.I.M. NOTICE

I just got my Property Appraiser TRIM notice that tells me how much tax I am going to pay on my residence in Sarasota.  TRIM refers to the effect this will have on your net worth.  Allegedly, if you disagree with their appraisal, you can contest it and they will give you 235 reasons why you are wrong.  And then you can appeal to the Value Adjustment Board and they have the "presumption of correctness." That means the number you got on your TRIM notice is how much you are going to pay, or they take your house away.

Now, I don't mind paying taxes for the chance to be protected by the Fire Department and the Police Department, or to ride on some nicely repaired roads and such.  I am OFFENDED by paying almost 2/3 of my real estate taxes for the School Board (SEE the blue part of the pie chart above)).  Talk about not getting your money's worth.  Our county cannot even produce students bright enough to attract technological industry.  The drop out rate is huge, and the literacy rate is abysmal judging by our FCAT assessment scores. The teachers Union objects to state wide testing of students.  Of course they would.  Now if we could somehow pull the plug on their tenure system and fire the worst teachers and hire more of the best, even paying them more, then I will gladly write the check to the Property Appraiser.  Until then, I do it under protest.  

The GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY

Yesterday was SUNDAY here on Nantucket, I guess it was at your house too unless you live in Australia, then it was either Saturday or Monday, I don't remember how that works.  It was the best of days, it was the worst of days. As for the Best part... we had dinner at our friends Frank and Barbara's house among 10 other guests who call Nantucket home during the summer. Folks came from every conceivable background, IBM, Banking, Medicine, Social work, teaching, landscaping, and the hospitality business.  The food was amazing...chicken lasagna with roasted pepper sauce, garlic bread to die for, or from if you are like two of my Sarasota friends, Ed and Shelley, and a home-made no-calorie carrot cake.  The wine was flowing and Moi felt no pain...for a while.  At 3 AM as I sat at the side of my bed with my heart doing the Conga, I realized I might have gone a chardonnay too far attempting analgesia.  Truth serum (In Vino Veritas) does that to my physiology some times (bad). A small price to pay, and I am sure I learned no lesson from this at all.  What a feast.  Henry the 8th (who as we remember invented fractions) would have enjoyed it.

Even the overindulgence aftermath was better than earlier that same morning.  The Kitty had run into a realtor friend of ours at the Stop and Shop the day before and the realtor said "The most unbelievably charming house just came on the market and it's ONLY $900,000. We are only in the market for more real estate, anywhere, if it is amazing and special etc, and the Kitty was assured that it was. We met her Sunday morning at the house to take a tour of it.  As I climbed the 3 steps up to the front porch to enter the house, distracted by conversation, I rose up on the top step and hit my head and jammed my neck on the header beam which is apparently, at 4 inches shorter than I am, common in the Historical Homes.  Remember that they were much smaller people back in the 1800s, because Pop Tarts, Cocoa Puffs, and Gator Aide had not been invented yet and their diets were therefore not nutritious, which stunted their growth. Whatever the explanation, this header beam impact felt like someone had hit me over the head with Webster's 1000 page Unabridged Dictionary, (something we no longer need now that we have Wikipedia). It is 24 hours later and it still hurts, but at least the concussion seems to have gone away and I can probably skip the visit to Nantucket Cottage Hospital's CT scanner.  More to follow.  I politely soldiered on and viewed the rest of the house which was positively Lilliputian in every way.  The master bedroom was a loft that barely fit a double bed and had a pitched ceiling that made it impossible to get into or out of bed if you were not Mary Lou Retton; the downstairs bedroom was the size of a guest bathroom in the average home, anywhere but the historical district; and the kitchen was "all renovated."  The  expansive 4 foot countertop was granite, the rest of the kitchen still looked like a "regular bathroom in the average house" minus the toilet.  Speaking of toilet, I never saw one of those, come to think of it.  The yard was indeed charming, though small.  Anyhow, from the HEAD NECK injury standpoint alone, I would put this event in the BAD category. I did learn some new realtor terms.  Charming means considering it is over 100 years old it still hasn't fallen down. Amazing means you will see stars when you come in the front door. Cottage means bring Ken and Barbie with you since only they can fit inside.  G.I. Joe would be iffy. As for the unbelievable part... that was the price.