BECOMING YOUR OWN PARENTS

There is not a child alive who has not said and perhaps continues to believe that his/her parents are a couple of idiots. Residents of cloud-cuckoo-land who did not know how life should be lived and who are clueless about modern day existence. Nothing they say or believe could have any relevance to my life. I know that I went through this in my teens at least and perhaps a little later. Eventually I either let it go or began to appreciate that from time to time one or two of their opinions had a little merit.

All the while, having within us, many of those same idiosyncrasies and annoying certitudes as they had or have. Perhaps that old psychological axiom of hating characteristics in others that we ourselves possess applies here. Anyhow, my point is that we have a choice. We can step back and think of how we were raised and look at our parents if they are still alive and dissect their "ways." What are those things that you are glad they imposed on you? Or at least made available to you? How many of those things have made you a better happier or more successful person, and how many of them have lead you to Rehab?

Can you see yourself choosing from this list and for unknown reasons keeping the "bad" alive in the way you conduct your own life and how you raise your children? You can pick choose and refuse now that you are no longer a child under their domination and yet... you continue to blame all that is bad on how you were raised, and believe that all that is good is due to your own hard work. Look in the mirror? Have you become your parents? Is that a good thing? Entirely? You can craft your own life now? You have permission. Like making a meal, just because your mother considered black pepper "Just too spicy" doesn't mean that you can't mix a Habanero pepper into your next family dinner. How did they limit themselves? What put the ceiling on their lives... their immigrant parents? Religion? The Great Depression? Do you need to repeat this cycle or are you resigned to the idea that it's too late, I've already been formed completely and as Caesar said as he crossed the Rubicon "Alea jacta est (the die is cast)?"