I WENT TO BARNES AND NOBLE

I went to my local Barnes and Noble bookstore a while back looking for a book on traditional manliness. In a world where Heather has two mommies, and Gays in the Military is more important to congress than solving the economy, I was just looking for something written about the essence of a traditional man…kind of like a western version of Japanese Bushido. At that time, the whole store was divided into topical sections. Most of it still is except for the huge NOOK section for the sale of their e-reader. There were stacks for Judaica, Christian Inspiration, Eastern Studies, Gay and Lesbian Studies, and of course Women’s Studies. I walked around and around and could not find “Men’s Studies” anywhere. I went to the help desk and asked ”Where is the Men’s Studies section?” The woman in plain shoes behind the counter wryly replied “everywhere.” I asked her what she meant by that and she told me that the whole world and the whole bookstore was controlled by men and other than the small sections labeled otherwise, the rest of the store was the Men’s Section.

I was not in the mood for an argument so I wrote to the head office of Barnes and Noble and told them of my experience. I received a 20% discount coupon and a letter that said they were looking into it. When last I visited B and N, there still was no dedicated men’s section. I guess men are not as “well stacked” as women. The whole zeitgeist of men’s issues vs women’s issues and the inequality thereof began to materialize in my head. I could not help noticing that women were given “minority” status even though they are numerically the “majority.” I read the other day about the supposed problem of the RICH exploiting the POOR in America. The author said that it was the Poor who exploit the Rich. When you think about it, 50% of America pays no income taxes and some people pay 30-50% of the money they make to the government in one form or another. So it is with this gender issue. Are women really the “weaker sex?” Are they a “minority in any sense?” I will share with you an old male expression… Women are over 50% of the population, have 70% of the money, and 100 % of the expletive deleted.

I have discussed my appointment with my Urologist next week. I had my lab done. It is for the PSA test that men should get to help screen for Prostate Cancer. A digital rectal exam in the office, coupled with the Prostate Specific Antigen blood test is a good thing to do every year. When is the last time you saw this mentioned on TV? There are countless Erectile Dysfunction advertisements, and the occasional Low-T commercial but nothing about the prostate. Are you aware that Prostate Cancer kills more people than Breast Cancer? Why would you know that? There is no Prostate cancer month or Sidney B. Komen association. I even saw a bumper sticker on a pickup truck yesterday that said “Save the TaTas “ referring to breasts. Men care about breasts and the women who bear them (no pun intended). Can the same be said of women and the diseases that afflict men?

I guess it’s intrinsically more aesthetic to think of a breast exam rather than a rectal one. Nonetheless, everybody on the planet knows the color of the Breast Awareness ribbon, it’s PINK. What is the color of the prostate ribbon? If there were one, it might be brown. There is none and there is NO prostate month, and basically men are dying, including my close friends and all we hear about is Women’s diseases. The ED advertisements are not about saving lives and are not in any way a balance for the overwhelming attention given to Breast disorders.

In an effort to not be anything like our present government, which seeks to level the playing field by tearing down the rich and redistributing to the poor, I do not propose taking anything away from the women’s movement that has done such a fantastic job raising breast awareness. Rather, I would propose that men learn from this activism and start to take Men’s issues more seriously. Half jokingly I invented a brown awareness ribbon but if that’s what it takes, lets get on it. Get’er done.

Equal pay for equal work is a female outcry in the business world. I have no argument with this. Everyone who does the same work should get the same pay. In fact, I am a supporter of 100% equality in America. I just wonder why women have not clamored to be included in the requirement that men have to register for the draft at age 18? You’ve seen the signs in the post office. It’s from our Government, the one that has the Civil Rights Commission. The sign says “MEN, 18 years old…”

Women make up at least 50% of medical and law school student populations. What an amazing sign of progress. Studies, which are as reliable as the polls taken in this recent election, very reliable, have described what this will do for medical care in this country. The quality of care will be as good or better. There will however be far more dermatologists and radiologists, and other specialists that work in the daytime. There will be fewer trauma surgeons and those that have 18 hour days and no time off on the weekends. Women are not dumb enough to go into those specialties. They go into fields where they can have a family, and a home, and a life. Their lifetime careers are abbreviated. A male doctor graduating from medical school will probably work in medicine until he goes on Social Security and even later. Women stop working as doctors at a much earlier age. This is absolute proof that they are smarter than men (old calypso song). This will lead to a shortage of not only doctors in general but specialists to treat the really nasty accidents and conditions that happen unexpectedly at all hours of the day and night. Couple this with the entitlement that everyone in America deserves healthcare and you better line up now to get your annual physical in 2014.

You are watching TV news. There is a plane crash or a sinking ship. The newscaster tells you that there are 127 fatalities including women and children, like they are somehow even less fortunate. This reminds me of the old tradition on the Titanic of “women and children first” into the lifeboats. OK, I don’t exactly know here I stand on this. As the old saying goes “I feel strongly both ways.” One the one hand, I really love the women and children in my life. They are inherently more physically defenseless than most men (though these days there are plenty of Metrosexuals who would get their asses kicked by the average female athlete). On the other hand, are we selling equality or aren’t we? Equal pay, equal lining up to get into the lifeboats. Kids are a whole ‘nother thing.

I plan to write a Book about Men, their issues, the discrimination against men, and the machismo or whatever that keeps men from having the resources that women have, like Susan B. Komen, and Breast Month, and Oprah. I am going to do a study of the topics discussed on every show on TV and then divide them into Men and Women centricity. I am not advocating a radical change in the way men relate to one another, it is too ingrained. We would rather bond on the football field or in battle than over coffee and a Danish, and shopping for shoes. That may be as it should be. Men and women are intrinsically different despite what the bright bulbs in Washington say. We are biologically different. And it’s not just because of that line in Kindergarten Cop…”Men have a penis and women have a vagina.”