JUDITH goes to the BALL

No, Judith is not my wife, my wife is Kitty. Judith is Judith Lieber, a women's handbag designer who makes jeweled purses that hold.....nothing. OK, maybe one lipstick and a single kleenex. So, we are at a Black Tie affair and I am in my Tuxedo. Where does the Kitty put all the other essential items that women need when they go out on the town in style? Answer...in my pockets.

Tuxedoes do not have a lot of room either because they are designed for their looks not their function. I had room for my wallet and iPhone but found room for the rest of "her stuff" somewhere. Even if women "need" room for all these things and when in New York going to work they carry a handbag in which a small child could get lost, they will never bring a roomy one to the Ball. Though I am not a fashionista and have little to no credibility among their Gods...Coco, Ralph, or Gianni, I am going to write them with my suggestion for next season... the Cargo Tuxedo. Instead of those flat useless pockets, two of which usually stay stitched closed because you never put anything in them anyway, my Tux design would look something like the jacket above. That way, my wife, or your wife, could bring their flat iron or hair dryer in case they need a little touch up at half-time, or whatever that hour is called between the salad and the entre'. Add some fine double stitch tailoring and an Italian wool fabric to the above design and voila ! The cargo Tuxedo. And my wife can continue to carry her purse which holds....nothing.