MY GOOD FRIEND, it's been a year

I miss my good friend, Bob, who died a year ago. I am sure that I am going to inadvertently violate some Jewish tradition or write something that is absolutely wrong but my heart is in the right place so apologies in advance. Every religion has traditions concerning death and remembrance. Briefly, my understanding is that the following ceremonies are accepted practice.

Shneim asar chodesh – Twelve months

Those mourning may observe a twelve-month period counted from the day of death. During this period, most activity returns to normal, although the mourners continue to recite the mourner's kaddish as part of synagogue services for eleven months. In Orthodox tradition, this was an obligation of the sons as mourners, not for women. There remain restrictions on attending festive occasions and large gatherings, especially where live music is played.

A headstone (tombstone) is known as a matzevah ("monument"). Although there is no Halakhic obligation to hold an unveiling ceremony, the ritual became popular in many communities toward the end of the 19th century. There are varying customs about when it should be placed on the grave. Most communities have an unveiling ceremony within a year after the death.

At the end of the ceremony, a cloth or shroud covering that has been placed on the headstone is removed, customarily by close family members. The service may include a brief eulogy for the deceased.

It has been a year and though I can forget where I put my keys, or parked my car, I will never forget my friend Bob. I am having my own goyeshe version of a memorial tomorrow. There will be music and drinking fine wine and eating 5 meals on that day. And there will be cake.